Seeking Happiness

Everyone's buzzing around today. Percy's turning nineteen today and the whole camps throwing a party. All day I've seen people running around with streamers, balloons, and an assortment of pastries covered in blue icing. I wanted to celebrate with them, I really did, but there was no way in hades I was going to leave Thalia's side.

She had been asleep for the past couple of hours, every minute ticking by pulling her further away. The painful silence only being broken up by her shallow breaths. I held her hand and absently rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand. Every time I looked at her I cringed at just how much I had failed her. First I sat there while Zeus turned her into a tree. Then I went all crazy and joined ranks with the king of the titans. Then I died. While I was dead she really got her life together, she joined the hunters and she was happy. Then I just had to be weak, I had to let Tartarus in. She gave up immortality to be with me, and now she's sick.

I will never be good enough for her, she didn't deserve this. I was nothing but a constant let down. If she dies, it will be my fault. If she dies there will be no reason for me to live anymore. I was deep in thought when Nico came in to check up on Thalia, "How's she doing?" I turned and saw the look on his face was full of genuine concern. I shook my head, "Not very good. If anything she's gotten worse." My voice faltered a little at then end. Nico pulled up a chair next to mine and put his hand on his shoulder, "I know this is rough man, if I could do anything I could do to help I would." I nodded, knowing he was telling the truth. "Is there though? Is there anything that can be done? What about the balance?" He gave me a knowing look, "What about the balance Luke?" I dropped my head only looking at Thalia, "If I die... can she live?"

Nico sighed, "Luke I don't know how all of that works. I don't even know if it's real. And even if it was, you're crazy if you think anyone here would let you kill yourself. Thalia's a big girl, she made her choice. She would be furious if she knew you were even thinking about this." Deep down I knew he was right, I knew he was speaking nothing but the gods honest truth. But I couldn't find it in myself to care. "I think it would totally be worth it, giving up my life so she can live. If you handed me a contract right this minute signing my life over to her, I'd ask you for a pen." Nico stood up sending his chair backwards, "Look, this illness, it was given to her by a goddess, whatever it is, it's not going to be easy to cure. So why don't you get off your ass, stop moping around, and find a way to fix it. Be strong for her Luke, be brave. She needs that right now, she needs a hero."

His words sparked something in me, something that been repressed by sorrow, and guilt. I am a demigod, I am a hero. Yet here I sit waiting for a cure to magically appear. I looked at Nico, "You know what? You're absolutely right." I gently untangled my fingers from hers, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. I ignored the fact that her skin was burning up as I let a single tear slide down my cheek. I tried to wipe it away before Nico saw. He gave me a mock punch in the arm, "Dude, tears aren't a sign of weakness. Let it out if you have too. Besides, I was pretty sure we were past the awkward 'Are we friends stage'." I nodded with just a hint of a mile playing at the corner of my mouth, "Yeah man, my bad."

I decided the best thing I could do right now was to talk to Annabeth, if anyone could figure it out it was her. She was brilliant, not to mention she single handily found the way to save me. She had that old book full of what Percy calls Greek short cuts. I said goodbye to Nico and headed to the Jackson's new residence over in Elysium. I had hoped, that Thalia and I would live here one day. And I'm still determined we will, whether it be in Long Island Elysium, or good old original one downstairs. If she was taking a trip to the underworld, I would be right behind her. But for now Plan A, help Annabeth find a cure.

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