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Save the one I love or die trying

New place New Problems

`As I looked above at the gateway two torches at the top set alit automatically when the sun fell under the horizon. I started to walk forward but was startled by the sound of a cracked branch behind me. I stopped took in a deep breath and turned around but there were only fallen leaves tumbling around in the breeze.
`“Hmmm, must have been just an animal.” I said to myself. I turned back around only to find a sword pointed in between my eyes, I stopped in my tracks and I looked up to meet the gaze of the holder scowling at me. She wore a pink sweater underneath her decorated bronze breastplate; she had a Spartan helmet on her head with a thick blue mane, she was one of the most beautiful looking girls I’d ever seen. Instinctively I raised my hands which is what most people would probably do if a Hugh freaking sword was pointed at their face. Hands up high I tried backing away slowly, but she stayed with me the sword pointed in between my eyes. After about two feet I backed into the end of a spear I turned just enough to see the one about to skewer me, he had a bronze breastplate on, which looked like a standard issue version of the girl’s, and the same looking helmet. I looked to both sides to see two other boys on either side of me, who looked identical to the one behind me. I looked forward and was about to say ok, you got me. But before I could say it the girl hit me over the head with the butt end of her sword.`When I awoke I was laying on a cot in a very large room with canvas walls and lots of cots. As my vision became clear I found myself looking at an older man in front of me, he had long stringy hair and a very thick beard to go with it. As I looked at him closer I noticed he was a horse from the waist down, I didn't think much of it in my groggy state but when it came clear to me of who he was it startled me so much I jumped off the other side of the cot. My face hit the floor with a very hard thud. As I peeled my face of the floor I noticed a pair of stylish Adidas runners a few inches in front of me, as I climbed to my feet I watched the shoes turn into jeans, into a pink sweater which overlapped the top of the jeans, and eventually to the girl who knocked me out. Before I stood all the way up she reached one arm out and onto my shoulder, I didn’t think anything of this gesture to start until she squeezed. She had an iron grip and she forced me to sit back down on the cot.“Oh please, try to be nice” the half horse guy said in a very serious and very calming voice to the girl. She proceeded to make a humph of disgust, but it was towards me which I took much offense to. I mean what did I do? The horse guy’s attention then turned to me.
“Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.” He announced as if he was saying that to a large group of people.
The girl almost cut him off “How can you give him a welcome he is obviously here to kill or kidnap some of us.”
“Let’s not be haste and make any assumptions before we know.” He returned and turned towards me. “I am Chiron, and you are?” he said inquisitively.
“I’m um, Alex” I replied.
“What do you remember?” Chiron asked.
“I was walking home with my sister when we were attacked and taken to some guy who called himself Luke, son of Hermes. He wanted me to kidnap some girl from this place I guess camp half-blood, right. within twenty-four hours or he was going to kill my sister. Oh god Alexis, oh god what have I done?” just as I finished I heard thunder outside and wondered if I had caused it or not.
“Do you remember what this girl’s name was?” It was hard for me to answer because my head was pounding probably from being hit on the head.
“I think he said her name was, Annebeth. Yeah Annebeth that’s right.” The girl who had acted super tough till now, gasped in horror as she took as step back I turned to look at her but she was already running out of the exit from the building.
“Don’t worry about your sister Alex we’ll figure something out. Now come I’ll give you a tour.” I stood up but immediately slipped back down my legs were kind of groggy, but I stood up and steadied myself on a post at the end of the cot.
“If you’re not able we do not have to go now.” Said Chiron.
“No, I’m fine.” I said as I stood up straight. I looked over to him and he gestured his hand like he meant ladies first
I stepped outside to have the sun shining right in my eyes, it didn’t bother me instead the sun felt warm and comforting as if it were there to protect me. Chiron stepped ahead and lead through the dense forest which was dotted with shacks and larger buildings until we came to a large house with a stone wall around the perimeter. There was a fold up table and matching chairs in the middle of the courtyard created by the wall. At the table there was a middle aged man wearing a tiger print Hawaiian shirt that looked up at me with disgust as we approached him.
“oh another one, look kid I don’t care who you are and whatever sob story you come with just go with the flow and do what everybody else does, if you’re lucky you will survive here.” He said


Dude, cool story. It would be cool to put more detail in it, but I like it.

Deadpool Deadpool
I like it!!! You should keep writing, I think this is going somewhere. :)
I am pretty new to this so if anyone has any advice or comments i would really like to hear, no matter how harsh it is.
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