Audentis Fortuna Iuvat
Lead
I lay staring at the roof for the longest time, it seemed to take all night for my friends to fall asleep around me but I knew it was really less than an hour.
I was itching to pick up my sword, I needed to let off some steam and work things out in my head. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore; everything was changing, and I didn't like it. They expected that because I couldn't stand by while one young boy was being brutally injured, I could lead a whole cohort of expectant teenagers. And the truth was that I couldn't do that, that I couldn't manage that pressure and that I crumble under responsibility.
After an eternity of stress gnawing at my intestines, I was finally able to slip out of my bed and run into the cold night.
I enhaled the night air greedily and it relaxed and awakened me with its unfamiliar smells and noises that had become so familiar to me over the months. The sound of my feet against the hard packed dirt set a rhythm for my heart and slowed down my mind. By the time I reached the arena, I had left all of my worries back at the cabin, now it was just me and my sword.
I grabbed my weapon from a rack and swung it around to loosen up my shoulder muscles before I got to work. I handed a practice dummy a sword and began to rehearse disarming techniques.
After hours of beating dummies to pulp, I started to fight with air. I envisioned an opponent before me, stroking and parrying the same as me. I met his invisible sword in the air and I could almost hear the ring of metal on metal. I danced with the imaginary swordsman for a long time before I could get in a clear shot to disarm him. I let out a victorious puff off air and turned around to see Dakota standing and watching me with an amused expression on his face.
"Why are you here?" I hissed, leveling my blade at his throat as I advanced on him.
"I followed you." He shrugged, indifferent to the fact that I was threatening to kill him.
"I repeat, why are you here?" I growled, furious that he would intrude on something so special and personal to me.
"I really need to talk to you." He said. "You have to take that post as Centurion if they offer it to you."
"What?" I frowned in confusion, bringing down my sword. "Why? I- I can't take that position."
"Because otherwise they're going to give it to Octavian. You have to stop him gaining more power, he's gone mad with what little he already has."
"No he- he's not like that. He's a good person! I'm not taking that post just for your jealous motives!" I exclaimed, pointing my sword back at him.
"He is! You hardly know him, but I do! I've seen it! I-"
"I do know him! He made this camp a home for me! He made me feel like I fitted in here! He's the brother I never had." I was screaming now, furious at Dakota for accusing Octavian of something so ridiculous.
"Look, I don't want to start a fight-" Dakota began carefully.
"Too late!" I cried, swinging my sword awy from him and storming to the other side of the arena.
I heard footsteps behind me and Dakota pulled me back towards him by the shoulders.
"I also want you to take it becuse you deserve it." He said softly. "You've trained so hard and you're a natural leader. You'll do this legion proud, I can feel it."
I sighed. "Maybe but I- I need- I need to think about it first."
He nodded and released me before walking out. As soon as he was gone, I sat down hard in the dirt. I couldn't do this, I couldn't be a leader, I couldn't be a success. Hy dad had always told me that 'good enough was good enough'. I never quite figured out what he meant by that but he certainly never encouraged me to push myself.
But all of these people; they thought that I could actually do it, that I could lead them. And maybe I could.... just maybe I could...
Notes
Sorry for the slow updates!!! I try to write as often as I can but there's always so much going on!!!Thanks for being so patient as always, I'll try get another chapter up as soon as I've got a chance!
You guys are seriously all amazing!
- Phoebe :)
@Phoebe
I will!
1/25/15