The sky was smudged with gray, but other than that, it was a blinding blue. Blue skies tended to be a little too blinding, if Nico was being honest, but he’d decided a long time ago not to ever say that out loud. How much more of an Underworld kid could you be? Who else would rather have gray, somber skies over a sunshine-filled day?
It’s not that he didn’t like the sun. He did. (Surprise!) But he just enjoyed cool weather. Camp Jupiter was occasionally blessed with a sweetened shady time period or so, but being in San Francisco, it didn’t happen too often. If he was being honest again, it was actually part of the reason he didn’t stay long.
Aside from, you know, not belonging there at all. Or anything.
Here was nice, though, aside from the scarringly blue sky.
Here was nice. He shifted to a more comfortable position, leaning back against the rooftop of the Hades temple. “Nice” was a weird way to put it. Bones scattered in a sort of order along the top, and ever since he brought Hazel, a couple of jewels had started to do the same- small glimmers of ruby or blue crystal colors against the slick black roof. But you could see everything from up here; the busy hustle of New Rome, the skies, the whole outline of camp… it was peaceful. It was quiet. He was here, in a camp, without being here, in a camp. It both saddened and fit him perfectly.
What was also nice was Hazel, obviously, who started coming up here with him recently. She was probably the one person who could stand him.
Maybe not understand him. But stand him.
She was halfway there.
“Stop it,” Hazel warned. “You know better.”
Nico blinked in surprise. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. You know better…? What did she mean, he knew better? Better than to put himself down? It’s not putting down, he thought resignedly, if it’s the truth-
He looked down and realized that he hadn’t said anything out loud. Hazel was scolding him for his hand. He’d been reaching, absent-mindedly, towards a crystal of soft silver.
He dropped his hand limply and gave a small grin. “Sorry. I forgot. You really think I can get cursed? I’m a child of Ha- Pluto. Would his riches really affect me?”
Hazel thought about it. “You’re a different part of his realm. The dead part, not the rich part. I don’t know… if you should risk trying.”
“Can’t get more cursed than I already am.” He meant it as a joke, but it came out dry.
Hazel was quiet. She didn’t disagree.
“What do you know-“ He didn’t want to ask her this. He didn’t want to think he was comparing her to anyone, but… Hazel was understanding. She wouldn’t take offense. She could stand him, after all. Not just because he saved her from the Underworld. It seemed like she actually cared. About him. A small pulse of warmth came from knowing that someone- anyone- in the world cared, at least a little bit-
“What do you know about Rebirth? Not like... what happened to you, but… The Elysiumic Rebirth.”
He was going to try to sound casual, but his voice kind of just dropped into a robotic drone. He stared ahead at the small blot of gray in the blinding, blinding cerulean sky.
“Not much,” Hazel started slowly, thinking very deeply. She knew why he was asking. “Again, that’s not really the specific part of the Underworld that I’m supposed to have influence over. But, um, naturally, I’ve heard things. Just snippets. Mostly in the Underworld.”
She waited. When he nodded at her, she continued, “I’ve heard a command, once, to transport someone out of Elysium. I thought it was because they judged a person wrong, so I kind of gave a lot of interest, because… if they could change judgments, then…” They could change Hazel's. She gave Nico a small smile. “Anyways. Turns out they were just transporting the spirit to the Lethe river. I thought about it for a little bit, and since I’ve come back, I’ve realized- somebody must have chosen Rebirth. You can’t have someone remembering two lives. The person has a completely wiped memory, to start over, and I think… it gets really complicated, but there’s a rumor that there’s some path that goes through Elysium, and it’s supposed to stop, but for some spirits it keeps going, once they’re ready to be Reborn, and a patron guides you for the first few steps before you start going on your way…”
She trails off and looks at Nico. “And then you’re reborn, I think, once you go down the path.”
Nico nods. “Thank you.” But what she said was nothing new. He heard the same basic information from people who guided the actual path themselves- the torch-carrying nymphs. And the one who guides you down the path to life happens to be Death. Funny how that works out.
She hesitated. “I don’t know if she’ll still be a child of Hades when she lives. I don’t know if she’ll even look the same. She might be… Asian. Or African American. Or maybe even a boy. I don’t know how much of her old life connects to her new life. I just don’t know. But, um, supposedly…” She trails off. “Supposedly… In the Isles of Blest, there’s really, really, really powerful magic. And even though Pluto can go there, he can’t enjoy it, or get its benefits, so even he doesn’t really know about what the spirits experience. Maybe… Maybe she’ll remember again. If she gets there.”
If she gets there. Nico has thought about this a lot. If she got there. But what if she doesn’t? What if she lives a peaceful life that she deserves and ends up in Asphodel? What then?
Or what if she gets to Elysium, gets reborn again, and then does something really stupid in her third life? Something that gets her into the Fields of Punishment?
“No,” he thought determinedly. She wouldn’t. She’s still her, no matter if she’s African American or Asian or a boy. Her spirit is still there.
And her spirit is good.
A new thought occurred to him. What if she gets to Elysium a second time… and then chooses to stay? What then? She wouldn’t remember Nico. Her first life wouldn’t matter. And she went through a second life just to… throw her first one all away. Down the memory toilet. Not taking the risk to get it all back.
Assuming the Isles of Blest does have this “powerful magic” that restores memory to those Reborn. Assuming.
Nico sighed miserably and leaned back, his insides scabbed.
She could have waited. She could have waited for him to get her, or she could have waited for him to at least die and be together with her, or…
Nico closed his eyes. The sky had a little bit too much sunshine for his taste.

Notes

Please comment feedback! It helps a ton. Thank you guys so much for just reading this- it means a lot:)