HOLDING HANDS AND INFIRMARIES

It was nice. It was even... Oh, gods. It was even romantic-nice. Moonlight. Water. Scenery.
And Will... it seemed like Will...
But Nico wasn’t completely sure... He wasn’t totally good at all this...
And if he was wrong...
Gods. It was all so complicated. He kind of wished he could crawl into bed and forget this. It all seemed so hopeless.
But hope kept creeping in, which kept him going. For one, Will seemed exuberant. While walking over, his pace was bouncy and he was whistling and he kept grinning down at Nico.
“It’s a nice night” is what he said.
They were about to sit down, in plain sight, at the edge of the canoe docks, but Nico said, quickly, “Can we, uh, go over there instead?”
Will, looking over to the curve scattered with trees, faltered a little. “Oh. Sure. I guess.”
And so they sat.
The second Nico’s butt hit the ground, he wanted to leave. This was due to Will cheerfully deciding to say, “So. I heard you had a crush on Percy Jackson.”
Nico responding by cussing.
“Whoa. Whoa. Nico. It’s okay-”
Nico couldn’t form words. His ribcage was all clenched up. He knew his friends knew, but he didn’t think they’d tell anyone. And the way Will threw it out there... Like it hadn’t been a weight on his chest- the sky’s weight, practically- for years... He couldn’t... He couldn’t...
“Breathe. Nico. Nico!”
Nico breathed. Forcefully.
“I...” Will was, too, at a loss of words. Good. Nico couldn’t help but thinking, halfheartedly. Serves him right. “Sorry. I wasn’t really thinking when I said that. Um, I’m guessing it’s still kind of a pretty big deal to you-”
“Kind of?” Nico inhaled, eyes wild.
“Whoa. I just... It’s cool. It’s cool to me, that’s all. I didn’t realize you didn’t think it was, too-”
“It’s cool to you?” Nico looked at him like he was crazy. “That I liked Percy Jackson?”
Will put his head in his hands. “Oh, gods. No. No. No. That isn’t what I meant. This isn’t how I wanted-”
Nico was left... speechless. To say the least. His body was rigid. Every sound he was trying to make died on his tongue. He wasn’t even sure he remembered how he got to the lake in the first place. He wanted to throw up.
And in general, his feelings were just... very, very confused.
“Okay.” Will said after a while, trying for a very sheepish, apologetic smile. “Okay. Let’s start this over.”
It was Nico’s turn to raise his eyebrows. Something was clenching inside and he wasn’t totally sure what it was.
“If you want to talk about it, I want to talk about it. If you don’t, then we.... we’ll forget this ever happened. okay?
“Um,” Nico said, his voice a few octaves higher than normal. He brought it down. “Um. How did you find about... that?”
Will, for some reason, wasn’t really making eye contact. “I kind of, ah. Overheard you talking to Percy and Annabeth.”
Nico stared. “You were on the other side of the hill. How did you-”
“I was listening.”
“Wow, thanks. That explains a lot.”
“I have good hearing. Most of Apollo’s children do. For perfect pitch, and everything. It’s just... most of the time, we don’t put it to use. Like, you have to... kind of... try, if you want to use it.”
“So... you meant to eavesdrop.”
“Uh,” Will said in response.
Nico let out some air, in disbelief.
“Do you...” Will hesitated. “Still like him? Is that why it’s a big deal to you? I thought you told him-”
“I just,” Nico said, bringing his hands to his forehead, his voice rising. “Don’t really want the whole camp knowing that I’m-”
He couldn’t even say it.
“It’s not the whole camp. It’s me. None of your friends have told anyone, all right? And I don’t want to stop being friends with you, okay? It doesn’t matter to me.”
It was a blow more than relief. Friends. Doesn’t matter. What Nico wanted was contradicting itself all over the place. Will didn’t want to stop being friends, which was good. But he didn’t want to stop being friends, which was bad. It was the friends thing. Was that what all of this was? The brushing hands? The friendly face remarks? That was Will and Nico “being friends”? It all had seemed so...
Way more than friendly.
“Nico. Are you okay?”
“What? I...” Nico swallowed everything back. If Will just wanted to be friends... He was fine with that. He’d just have to move on. He learned that with Percy, right? Much better to be friends with someone than secretly pine for the guy when he knew it was hopeless-
“Yeah. I think I’m going to be okay.”
“Good. I’m glad.” Will smiled, a little relieved. Nico turned away and faced the water. This really didn’t seem like the greatest idea after all. Things were quiet for a while.
“Do you still like him?” the question was soft. Nico raised his head, barely.
“What?”
“Percy Jackson. You never really answered the question. Do you still... like him?”
Something stilled inside of Nico’s brain. Why would Will ask, unless he- “I don’t think so. I think... I just really, really liked the idea. It was a long time, and it’s not going away in a second, but...” Nico had no idea why he was rambling so much. His hands were sweaty, all of a sudden, and his mouth was dry. “But, no. I don’t like him.”
“Hm.” Nico looked up, and Will was grinning.
“Glad that I amused you,” Nico muttered, annoyed, and Will laughed out loud.
“Tell me about your quest,” Will’s eyes were dancing. “Tell me about where you went. What you did.”
Will stretched out onto the grass, relaxing on his back, his shirt coming up a little. Nico’s breath hitched. “Okay.”
And he started out with Camp Jupiter, and how he met Hazel. And how Percy showed up. And how he got sent to Tartarus.
It was here that Nico’s storytelling sped up, and he had to lie down next to Will. He spent too much time trying to explain what it was like down there, inside that monster, and he couldn’t go on.
“I remember... Misery. There was this lady, Misery, and she cried when she saw me, out of happiness. Kind of a contradiction. And she told me... I was perfect. My life was as miserable as it could get.”
He stopped, closing his eyes.
Warmth enveloped his hand, and his eyes shot open, like a jolt. He wanted to look over, but willed himself to stay in place, something jittery flashing through his body.
Will Solace was holding his hand.
Will Solace was holding his hand, and not letting go.
Will Solace was holding his hand.
He let his heart soar.
Will was talking, normally, casually, as if nothing was happening. The only inidcation that anything changed was that he sounded a little happier than usual.
But Nico couldn’t hear his words.
And everything was far, far from normal.
Nico’s world was turned upside down, over, around-
And everything just felt like... Like it was warm. Warm, and full of sunshine, and soft.
He closed his eyes, basking in it all.
“Is this... okay?” was Will’s question, a smile seeping through his voice. He loosened his hand a little. “I mean, I could always-”
“No!” Nico clenched Will’s hand forcefully, and it stopped moving. Will started laughing. “I mean, yes. It’s okay. It’s more than okay. This is... yeah. This is good.”
“Only good?”
Nico mumbled something in response, and Will laughed again, lacing his fingers through Nico’s.
And Will started to talk.
He sat up, bringing Nico with him, and started talking about the Roman- Greek war here, and then the Titan’s War, and just about everything and nothing in general. And he scooted over so that their legs were touching, facing the water, his eyes lighting up. And Nico had to smile- he couldn’t help it- throughout this whole thing, because for once in his life, something was actually going right-
“I’m glad you stayed. The two days after the war, I was stuck, and I couldn’t check to make sure you’d gone, because I had to take care of everyone-”
“I thought I was going to regret it. Staying.”
“Do you?”
“Definitely.” Nico- he didn’t know how he got the courage- swung his legs over on top of Will’s, no longer facing the water, getting a nice view of Will’s eyes looking down at him. They looked very bright in the dark.
“Was that a joke?” Will laughed, again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that, tonight. His smile was giddy. “Did Nico di Angelo just make a joke?”
“Shut up. I make jokes.”
Once more- a laugh escaped from the son of Apollo. Nico scowled, but then his body broke out into a laugh, also, going against what his brain was telling him to do, and it just felt so right.
There was flying overhead, and Will sighed, groaning, leaning forward so that his forehead touched against Nico’s. “Harpies,” he complained. “We have to go.”
Nico wanted to protest, wanted to stay just for a couple more seconds, a couple more minutes, the whole night, but instead grumbled irritably and let himself be pulled up to standing position. He started to let go of Will’s hand, but the other boy held on just a little bit tighter, and Nico couldn’t supress a smile.
“So,” Will stated, cheerfully.
“So.”
“So.”
“Okay, that has to end. What, Will?”
“So... you like me.”
Nico made a noise, but didn’t deny it. Will poked him in the ribs.
“Ow. Okay, yes. I like you.” Just saying the words made his pulse speed up, if it wasn’t a thousand miles per hour already. He broke out into a little smile.
“And...” Will stopped, looking down at Nico, face-to-face, a beaming grin threatening to leap off his face and run off into the forest. Again, their foreheads touched.
“I like you.”
Nico closed his eyes, and Will inhaled sharply.
“So that’s settled.”
And there was movement, and maybe Nico would’ve had his first kiss right there, at the edge of the path leading out of the woods, if Chiron didn’t make the camp announcement-
“One minute until curfew! Reminder than any campers out of bed could and would result in being eaten by harpies. One minute, everyone!”
And they stood, suspended in silence, for just a moment, taking that information in. And before Nico lost his nerve, he kissed Will quickly on the cheek, his own cheeks burning, and ran back to his cabin, the memory tucked close to his chest, the feeling of Will’s warmth still etched into his hand.
He would think about the other boy until he fell asleep, and the next day, Will would admit that he did the same.
It was a nice night.
Better than nice.
Nico didn’t regret a thing.

Notes