One Shots (HoO)

Percy has been in my arms for maybe half an hour now, and I had never in my life felt better.

No, I don’t mean it in a romantic way anymore; it’s been a while since I got over Percy. The only reason why he’s in my arms is because I am consoling him.

I was at my cabin savoring a few moments of peace and loneliness when my ex-crush burst inside without warning. What a dumbass, I could have been naked or making some kind of Underworldly voodoo…

Anyways, even though I was upset, my voice was trembling when I spoke.

“What do you want, Percy?”

I meant to sound upset but instead all the nervousness that his arrival brought upon me was palpable in my voice. We hadn’t talk since I came out to him, that is, we’ve not spoken to each other for more than two weeks now.

I’ve been purposely avoiding him for all this time because I didn’t want to know what he thought about my confession… He seemed pretty taken aback by my declaration, so I have no idea if he was cool with my crush or if he had so much seaweed in his brain he couldn’t bear the thought of homosexuals.

“I need to talk to you, Nico. Outside. At the woods. Now.” He said, also with a trembling voice, and started to make his way towards the forest.

I froze. Was Percy nervous? What was he going to say to me? I was secretly terrified. Maybe he was so mad at me he wanted to punch me and then leave me at the woods, unconscious. I shook the thought aside; I knew Percy wasn’t like that, so I followed him into a clearing.

“What is this all about, Jackson?” I tried to sound defiant, but then again, my voice failed me.
Then the unexpected happened, Percy crumbled on the grassy floor and started crying.

I have admired Percy for so many years now that seeing him all fragile and seemingly defeated shocked me. He was so flawed, but these flaws are what made him strong; what made him so great.

I couldn’t help myself; I sat next to him and took him into my arms, intending to comfort him with my cold and ethereal embrace. That’s how I’ve spent the past half hour of my life.

By this point, my shirt was dripping wet from his tears, but the tears wasn’t the thing that bothered me… What bothered me was that I knew the look on his face way too well. In his expression, I saw myself. I saw myself when I cried myself to sleep every night because I was being poisoned by the venom that resided in me: the truth about my sexuality. If Percy wanted to come here with me, it was obvious that he wanted to talk, and that’s all he could do in order to release his venom. He needed to speak.

I cleared my throat. “Percy, you need to talk to me. I know you want to talk about something. Please, talk to me, I promise you will feel better.” Unlike Piper, I couldn’t charmspeak; yet I tried to pour all the reassurance I could muster in my tone.

Percy’s sea-green eyes pierced through my dark ones. “I am sorry, Nico. For everything I did to you.” He started to cry all over again.

What he was saying made no sense to me… What was he talking about? He’d saved my life countless of times. What could he be possibly so regretful about?

“Percy… I-I don’t follow. Please explain what you’re talking about.”

He took a deep breath.

“I am sorry because I’ve been so unfair to you. I was so stupid that I promised to bring Bianca alive from our quest, but I wasn’t strong enough to protect her. I wasn’t there with you after I told you about the tragedy… I-I let you go on by yourself, being too self-centered to go to the Underworld to look out for you.”

At hearing Bianca’s name tears threatened to spill from my eyes. Bianca was the first person that accepted me. She knew what I was, yet she still loved me. When Percy told me that he wasn’t able to keep his promise he’d broken my heart, but I couldn’t blame him. Just like me, Percy was naïve at the time.

“I wish… I wish I could talk Hecate into turning back time, because I would do it Nico. I would turn back time in order to have a second chance at saving Bianca…”

Hearing that Percy would try to do something so stupid in order to make it up for me warmed my heart; unfortunately, we both knew that some things are irreversible.

“You and I both know that even Hecate doesn’t have that kind of magic.” I smiled bitterly. “Bianca is better off than all of us… She will surely get to the Isle of Blest, eventually. That is the best fate that she could have asked for. Her death stills hurts me, yes; but I’ve come to terms with it.”

Percy still looked tormented; he had so much to say. I felt so exposed; so sad and relieved at the same time, you won’t believe such a mix could exist.

“I should’ve been a better friend to you. I should’ve taken better care of you. I was so blind. I never even told you I was grateful for all you did for me.”

I didn’t trust my voice to talk, so I simply looked directly at him, waiting for him to continue.
“Right when I told you about Bianca you saved me from the skeletons you summoned.”

“I saved you because I was the one that threatened your life with my powers in the first place.”

“Then you helped me become nearly invincible by taking a dip at the River Styx. You saved my life once more.”

I remembered that scene. I was so scared he would die. I could’ve never lived bearing the guilt of his death, which is why I told him to think about the one thing that kept him anchored to the mortal world. I wanted him to think about my name: Nico di Angelo, but I knew all along he’d think about Annabeth.

Once upon a time, thinking about this specific scene cut like knives, but not anymore. I had left all my venom out. I owned this to Reyna. Reyna knew about my darkest secrets and she still accepted me; our interaction while transporting the Athena Parthenos created such a strong bond between the two of us that I’m sure it’s unbreakable. Now, Reyna was like my big sister, which helped me being a better big brother to Hazel.

I still loved Percy, of course, but not as a lover anymore. Percy was my hero, my brother, my bridge over troubled water.

“Then you helped me in the fight against Kronos, saving my life once again.”

“Don’t be so egocentric, Jackson! I was actually helping all human race, not just you!” I said, trying to sound deadly serious even though I knew Percy was aware that, of course, I did that for him; because I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing his sea-green eyes unfocused, looking at the face of Tartarus itself.

“You did keep your promise of bringing the crew to the Doors of Death.”

“Percy… when I forced you to promise to bring Bianca back I was being unfair to you. You were just a kid that was still trying to wrap your head around the idea that you had an important role to play in the history of our world. I was stupid for asking you to promise this, and you were even more stupid by actually taking the oath.”

Percy continued his monologue. “If it wasn’t for you… I wouldn’t have survived Tartarus… You were the one that talked to Bob and convinced him I was a friend. I owe my life to you.”

“Percy, don’t-“ He cut me off by pushing one of his hands against my mouth.

“I admire you, Nico, because you’re stronger that I’ll ever be. You survived Tartarus alone. You survived being rejected because of who your father was. You.. you…” His voice broke. “You survived heartache. I am so sorry for not being able to love you back in the way that you desired I did.”

There was the bomb, I had the feeling that not loving me back was the thing that Percy Jackson felt most guilty of. But… How could I blame him? Loving another man supposedly went against men’s nature, so it wasn’t his fault.

I meditated for a few moments and I came to a simple conclusion.

“I lied to you two weeks ago. You weren’t just a crush to me, I loved you deeply. I never told you about how I felt, so you couldn’t make things easier for me. Some of the blame is on me, too, Percy. And at the end, love is the hardest thing to fight or resist. There’s nothing you could’ve done about that.”

Percy looked up at the sky as if searching for a way to finally get the formula to turn back time.

“I just feel so guilty.” Seeing Percy so exposed shocked me, but now it also relieved me. He was still suffering inside but most of the venom was now out of his system. Without suffering we wouldn’t be human so I guessed that Percy would be okay.

“I have an idea on how to make your guilt lighter and lighter, until it fades.” I said. I stretched my hand in front of him. “Let’s start over.” I proposed.

A small smile played on Percy’s lips. He took my hand and we stood that way for a moment.
“I am Percy Jackson and I’m pleased to meet you. I’d like to be your best friend and protector.”

I took a moment to take it all in. Percy’s hand, which was way warmer and solid than mine, made me feel protected. The simple gesture of shaking hands drove most of Percy’s ghosts away and made the few shadows that still clung to my body go missing. If this wasn’t true magic, I didn’t what is.

“I, Nico di Angelo, accept your offer. The pleasure’s mine.”

Notes