One Shots (HoO)

It was Christmas Eve, just after Gaia’s defeat, and I’ve never in my life felt so peaceful.

After leaving Ogygia , Calypso and I started traveling without clear direction; we just sort of flied away and came down whenever we saw land.

We spent a couple of months in Spain and Portugal, and then decided to come back to the New World.

Now we were in Mexico, on a beautiful Christmas Eve. Calypso was sleeping on my lap, while I sat in front of the fireplace while Festus was parked in the garage; I could hear his overly loud snores from where I sat at the living room.

The people from Mexico were quite amiable with us, which made me feel at home because they reminded me of my mother. My dear mom was always as enthusiastic and friendly as the next Latina, so the behavior of my Mexican comrades reminded me of her.

I loved Mexico to death. I loved how loud people were. I loved mariachi. And I most definitely loved the food! Tacos and burritos for everyone! For breakfast, for lunch and for dinner; this was heaven!

The only thing that had gone wrong in Mexico was when I entered that burrito eating contest.
I drifted off, remembering the incident.

~

Calypso didn’t want me to enter in the first place; she claimed that if I kept eating burritos, all my arteries were going to be blocked because of the cholesterol. I was about to comply with her, but then I saw an old man that resembled a walrus looking at me with disdain in his eyes.

In that moment I knew that I had to teach him a lesson.He was only looking at me like that because I was a skinny boy; and he weighted like 400 pounds!

He looked so much like a walrus that I was actually going to call him that: Walrus.

I almost set myself on fire because of how upset the Walrus made me. So, of course I entered the contest.

Later on that same afternoon, Calypso went to talk to the townspeople in order to find out more information about the Walrus.

Calypso entered our rented house panting.

“What’s wrong, Sunshine? Are you a little rusty from not doing much physical activity?”

She slapped me. Just like pretty much everyone else I knew, Calypso didn’t always appreciate my sense of humor.

“This is serious, Leo Valdez! I just found out who this Walrus guy is!”

“And…?” I queried.

“His name is Juanito Cuchilla and he is the four-times-in-a-row champion of the burrito eating contest!”

I laughed. “Juanito Cuchilla is such a stupid name, I rather stay with Walrus.”

She slapped me again.

“THIS. IS. SERIOUS. LEO. VALDEZ.” She emphasized each word. “Don’t you see? You have to drop out from that stupid contest. Winning is impossible!”

“I’m all about doing the impossible, Sunshine.” I replied cockily.

When the day of the competition came, I was finally able to catch a better glimpse at Juanito Cuchilla, AKA Mr. Walrus.

Woah! The guy was in serious need of one of those radical makeovers they give away on television! He genuinely looked like a Walrus. He was obese, his skin had a weird gray color, he had a huge mustache and he was permanently wet due to all the sweat his body emanated. Yeah, after beating the guy I was definitively going to call some pointless TV show for that extreme makeover.

So, after I marveled about how similar the Walrus was to an actual walrus, it was finally time to start the competition.

After maybe an hour and about a hundred burritos eaten, the Walrus and I were the only ones left.

The crowd was surely starting to like me, considering that for being a scrawny boy I was going far in the competition.

“¡Órale Leo! ¡Tú eres el campeón!” screamed my newly acquired fan club. Mexicans girls just loved the bad boy supreme.

I waved at them, but since Calypso was giving me the death stare, I decided to forget about the girls.

“¡Y ahora para la última prueba los participantes tendrán que comerse el burrito gigante!” So, the final test was eating a giant burrito. Great! I was born for this.

They gave us one giant burrito each; the thing was humungous.

The Walrus looked at me. “Let… the… best man… win.” He had a thick accent and since his breathing was extremely labored, I could barely make out what he said.

“Perfect!”

And then it was time to eat the monstrosity.

I took a bite and I felt as my body combusted into fire, literally. Soon enough, I lost conscious.

I had a horrible nightmare about burritos that are too spicy and then woke up, in Calypso’s arms but still in the tavern in which the contest was taking place.

“Did I lose?” I asked her.

“Actually, no.” She told me and then turned to the crowd. “HE’S ALIVEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

The crowd exploded into cheers.

Turns out that the Walrus only won those four times because he was paying someone to pour some “Carolina Reaper”, the spiciest pepper in the world, in the giant burritos.

When I had a bite of the burrito my mouth literally burst into flames, and it was so horrible that I was knocked out unconscious.

The judges then decided to check on my burrito and since they found out about how the Walrus was cheating, the Walrus was arrested.

Now the people thought that they only imagined that my mouth lit up in flames. If only they knew that it really happened!

The Super-sized McShizzle was now officially a Mexican urban legend!

~

Suddenly the clock struck twelve, and I was back to reality.

Calypso stirred in my lap and then woke up.

She sat up in front of me, and looked straight into my eyes.

Calypso was simply made for me. I loved her from head to toe. She was just the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen; both inside and out. She did have flaws, but we all do. Her flaws were compensated by my strengths, just as my flaws were compensated by her strengths. She was crafted for me.

She closed the distance between us, and gave me a sweet peck on the lips. Her breath was intoxicating.

“Merry Christmas.” She whispered against my lips, and put a rectangular shaped box into my lap.

I had a present for her too. I gave it to her.

“You first.” I said.

She opened the box, and found the necklace that I’ve made for her. The necklace was made up of Celestial bronze and it had a charm; a special charm: it had of Calypso’s cave crystals in it.

“One of my crystals…” She mumbled. “How thoughtful… I don’t know what to say.”

I gestured her to turn around so that I could help her putting the necklace on.

“Mr. Bad boy supreme always leave all the ladies speechless!” I replied cockily. “There you go.”

She turned around. The necklace looked perfect on her. It complimented her eyes.

“Now it’s your turn, Mr. Silly.”

“Alright, Sunshine.”

I grabbed the box and opened it.

Inside was an orange sweater. It was beautiful, she was just great at weaving.

“Oh, it’s pretty!” I told her. It was surely an odd gift, but I did really like it.

“Turn it around.”

I obliged.

In front of my eyes was the logo I missed so much. Three letters, “CHB”. My chest started to ache. My home… My friends…The shirt reminded me of the feelings that I was desperately trying to ignore… I just wanted to be selfless, and give Calypso whatever she wanted…

“I did that because… I had to remind you… Remind you about your home. I was so self-centered that I allowed you to please my desires first. I let you take me to countries without thinking about how worried Percy and the others must be. I never thought about how homesick you could really be… I know you did it because you loved me, because you knew that all I needed was a time to go away… But it’s now my turn to remind you of your desires. You deserve to go back to Camp Half-Blood. You deserve to see your friends again.”

I felt my eyes watering. It was true. I missed Camp Half-Blood and my friends with a burning passion.

“Thank you!” I said as I trapped her into a tight embrace.

“We leave in the morning. Oh, and think about a way of telling your friends about you dying and then coming back from the dead, Mr. Zombie.”

Zombie. The gears in my head started spinning. “I’ve just thought about the perfect way to break it down to them.” I said, already holding back my laughter.

“Perfect.” She stood up and started walking toward her bedroom. “Aren’t you going to bed now?”

“Nah, I’ll go later. I just want to spend some more time by the fireplace. Good night, Sunshine.”

“Good night” she said and then disappeared into the darkness.

I put my CHB sweater on, and then started regarding the flames.

Fire always put me at ease; it was my element.

It was chilly outside, but the fire gave me just the right amount of warmth.

I started thinking about my mother.

When I confronted Gaia I was finally able to come to terms with her death; I finally understood that I wasn’t the one that killed her.

Her death still hurt me, but now thinking about her mostly brought comfort to me. Thinking about all our memories together made me warm up inside better than any hot cocoa; even better than my powers.

Suddenly, I could have sworn that I saw her smiling face reflected in the flames.

Esperanza Valdez was somewhere out there, watching me. She was happy because she knew that I was finally going to be completely happy; because being at Camp Half-Blood alongside Calypso and my friends was all I desired. I was finally able to beat Nemesis, I wasn’t going to be the seventh wheel anymore. Take that, Nemesis!

I loved my mom… I told her, using our own favorite way of communication: Morse code.

Notes