Alright, so today was good I guess. I mean... I didn't die, right? That could have ended badly. Being dead. Not the top of my list, okay thanks? Yeah. Let's not go with the dead thing. Whoo.

My name is Sky and I love the forest. I really do. I have a stocky build that makes it easy to move around on rough terrain. Not that I like trail-blazing. No, that's for the weirdos that like to go on the Pacific Northwest Trail. I like to just get lost in the forest. Everything melts away and I can breathe easy knowing that I have nothing to do for about three weeks after I begin my vacation. And that's what I had been doing. Vacation. Just before Junior year of high school. One last chance to get some forest time in. You know what my favorite thing to do is? Hunt trolls. Not that I thought they were real at the time. No, I was so young then and innocent (okay yes I know this was only a day ago) and didn't realize that they mythical creatures in my D&D beastiary were real. No, not at all. I mean dragons are cool and all, but I didn't think they existed! Actually, I still haven't seen one...

I walked down the trail that was half desecrated meadow and half stomped-over dirt path that lead to a river that ran through the valley that I was in. Despite the drought that ravaged much of California, the mountains remained green and beautiful. Moisture could even be tasted in the air. It all seemed so far away, as if it didn't matter. I always loved how humbling the forest was. How it made all the issues of the day seem so small and insignificant. I smiled as I thought of the giant adventure I was about to pretend to have. I reached the river which was covered by broken aspen trees that rattled gently in the wind and pulled the branches aside as I slid my feet in to the cold water. Seriously, this stuff could turn anything in to an ice cube. The cloud-covered sky gave everything a whimsical and dark cast and I loved it. It made everything seem magical and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I bent low as I moved through the brush and water until I came to a small clearing. This clearing was still near the road, but a wall of trees blocked any sight of it. I pulled out my sword that I had bought at an anime con back in the beginning of the year and waved it around. “Alright trolls and or giants! C'mon out!” Currently, a village was being attacked by them and I had been commissioned to slay the trolls or giants that had plagued them. I slashed my sword right and then left. “You wont get the best of me!” I yelled at the sky. I continued hacking and slashing at the air when I heard something that sounded like a tree being forced to the side in an angle it didn't want to go. I looked around thinking there might be thunder. I was far away from my tent and it would take me fifteen minutes to get back. If there was thunder I'd have to run quick. I've never liked thunder. It always made the back of my head hurt for some reason. As if someone had hit it with something big and hard.

After waiting a few minutes I guessed there was no thunder. Throwing my sword above my head I yelled, “I am the greatest swordsman ever! Nothing can defeat me!” I went over to a stump and threw my leg on it. “I have defeated the vile troll!”

I threw the sword down on the grass and sat down next to it. The clouds had started parting and the sun was finally showing its face. I stared up at the sky wishing desperately that the clouds would just stay forever. Behind me I heard the sound of more trees creaking. It's just the wind, right? The wind could totally do that. Yeah. Definatley wind. No doubts about that here. No way.

“PICK UP YOUR SWORD!” A large voiced boomed. I swear I shot up ten feet in the air. I was scraggly and jagged, almost like something was talking out of broken glass. I was too stunned to speak. Too terrified to move. I was frozen.

More trees parted and I saw a giant gray hand over one pine tree. “YOU ARE THE GREATSEST SWORDSMAN EVER, CORRECT?” I swear if I had not recently relived myself I would have now. A large body emerged from behind the trees. White burly hair covered its body and mushrooms grew from exposed skin. Jagged teeth jutted up from under his lips and I could smell some really bad B.O. from my spot on the ground.

He stomped over towards me and pointed a thick finger at me. “YOU! FIGHT ME!” Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudddeeeee. What? So death was in my future. I could see that now. There goes my lifelong aspiration of collecting every single pokemon. Gotta catch 'em all? No, gotta catch a break! I scrambled away and somehow managed to grab my sword. I was scared but somehow I could think. The world was slowing down and things were making sense. Wait, what? Making sense? How?

I honed in on the ankles. They were close to the ground and easy to get to. For some reason, I knew where to strike and how. The problem? This was a prop sword. It wasn't even sharp. Without caring I rushed towards him. I had forgot one thing, though. I'm not a fast runner.

I felt his hand slam down on me, shoving me to the ground. He picked me up, squeezing hard. “Hey Bro, let me go, man!” I managed to say. He put me right under his big ugly nose and sniffed hard. I swear my hair was standing up at that point. “YOU SMELL FUNNY.” he said. I could smell his rancid breath and wanted to puke. “Yeah,” I coughed. “You should smell yourself from my end.” He didn't seem to find that very funny. He took another sniff. “YOU SMELL LIKE JOTUNN, BUT NOT JOTUNN. WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?” The way he was squeezing me the least he could do was take me to dinner first. And what was a Jotunn anyways?

“Okay Rancid-Breath, wanna put me down now?” I patted his hand in between two large mushrooms. “EH? WHAT?” He grabbed my sword and jabbed it between two jagged teeth. “WHAT IS THIS? TOOTHPICK? IT'S DULL.” He tossed it on to the ground. Well, there goes eighty dollars.
“JOTUNN THAT IS NOT JOTUNN YOU HAVE AMUSED ME,” he roared. Glad to be of service! Always happy to help. He continued, “BUT I WILL EAT YOU NOW.” Before I could do anything he slammed me in to a large knapsack that was just large enough that I could stick my head and shoulders out. He took off full speed through the forest. Cold wind, bugs, and wisps of cedar leaves whizzed around me as we moved. I could hear his footfalls making thunderous noises as he ran. In the distance I could see a rainbow. Now, normally, when you go towards a rainbow, you don't. They're typically always to the side and you can't really go near them. But this rainbow was pointed towards us and we were managing to get closer to it.

So on we ran towards the rainbow. I imagined he would take me towards a cave and do unspeakable things but he didn't. No. This guy stopped so suddenly I'm sure I got whiplash somehow. He squatted down and used his balled up fists to launch himself in the air above the trees. And we're not talking small trees. These trees easily clear about 80 feet.

He landed on the rainbow itself and dug his hands in to it. This time he used his stumpy legs to launch himself in to the air again and did this repeatedly until I passed out. At least I'm pretty sure that's what happened because the next thing I knew I was waking up tied to a rotisserie stick over a poorly built fire.

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