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Critique
Here's the next step in my process! I'm sorry it's sooooooooo long.
Because I have already seen what you guys can do, please feel free to review some of my own writing to see if you would be compatible with me. Comment or instant message me your reviews!
(This may be part of a chapter in the fanfiction)
Andrew
Andrew was bored, and that didn't happen often. As a son of Athena, it was rare for him to feel this way. Everything in the Athena cabin and Camp Half-Blood should interest him. Today though, Andrew felt as if he were going through the motions.
It had almost been a year since he arrived at Camp Half-Blood and he was doing nothing but training. After the Giant war many of the demigods at camp decided that they needed to prepare themselves for another inevitable war. Andrew was one of them. It was almost as if he sensed there would be more problems in the future involving him.
Another reason Andrew was bored was because he felt as if something were missing from his life. He knew it was selfish to think this way however. He had everything he could possibly desire. Friends, family, food, shelter, money, clothes on his back; but what could he be missing? Andrew was so bored he almost didn't care anymore.
Andrew didn't give up just yet. He knew there was always hope in the darkest of times. It also wouldn't be very "Athena-like" to give up so easily.
Andrew never met his mother, but he could imagine her shaking her head at him whenever he had a relenting thought. He always pictured her taking off a pair of glasses, folding the lenses together gently before giving him a wise piece of advice and a stern glare.
Whenever Andrew thought of his mother his mind always wandered to his father as well. His father, Senator Maxwell Henderson of Nevada, didn't have to try hard to win an election. It seemed as if the world always favored Andrew's Dad. "All you have to do boy, is smile and wave," his father told him once.
Andrew wasn't all to close to his father. The senator was always introducing him to new girlfriends, some close to his age, and expected him to be nice to them. In fact, his father was engaged to an eighteen year old pageant queen before she disappeared "questionably".
Sometimes Andrew couldn't see how a woman like his mother, the wisest goddess, could fall for such a bum.
Andrew sighed and looked out the window of his cabin into the starry skies above him. He shut his eyes for a moment, trying to picture something interesting happening to him. It didn't work.
Angry, he shoved aside his desk and slouched in his bed. Andrew didn't expect to wake anyone in the Athena cabin up, most of his siblings were gone to a mortal school during the year.
As he curled up in his bed, taking in the scent of books and warm rain. Andrew then wondered if this was what his mother smelled like.
Andrew stared upward at the ceiling, wishing that something interesting could happen to put him out of his misery. If he didn't find something else to occupy his mind soon, he was going to become obsessed.
@StriderBro_
Ya l agree too lol
1/27/16