The Son of Death - Comments

it's really good!

I like it :D

nice idea

Nice chapter.

@krigby
@God of Books
I agree with God of Books on the paragraph thing, but I'd also suggest punctuation to help your sentences be a little easier to read. :) Great start!

@krigby
Awesome! I really think it's a cool story!

great story idea, i believe that this will get pretty popular pretty soon, just update often and keep the storyline going

@God of Books
Thanks, any help/advice is welcome and I will ensure that I do so in the next chapter.

Wow.

Well you obviously got a good story going here! I think it's awesome! But I got to give you a tip, or the older ones on this site will do it for you. Basically, paragraphs. Maybe each time a character starts a sentence, you can make a paragraph. For example:

Percy sat on the edge of the dock, his feet dangling over. He leaned back and enjoyed the fireworks, alone. Annabeth had ditched him at dinner, so he ditched her for the fireworks.

"Percy?" A voice asked. He turned and saw a girl standing there. She had long, blonde curls and wise grey eyes. A bone like sword was at her side and a laptop under an arm. Annabeth.


Basically, every time a character speaks, you give two spaces in between each paragraph. So yeah, it's an AMAZING story, and I'm defiantly subscribing, I'm just giving you the info now before older folks get all.... you know.... persnikety.