The God of Toilet Paper Takes Sadie on a Date

Anubis paced in the hall beside the giant table laden with food. It had everything from pomegranates to a giant turkey in the middle. He wasn't sure Sadie would eat a lot but he wanted to have a wide variety of food so she had choices.

Sconces between the pillars of the room were lit and there were candles on the table. Incense was wafting throughout the room giving off a spicy-sweet scent. He hoped she liked Myrrh. The girl's plan was coming slowly in to action. Mood lighting, food, candles, the eradication of the scent of death in the air, and even a movie for after. He'd have to go in to the human world for the movie, and even then it could only be in a graveyard. Sadie had a laptop that he was going to have her bring and Carter had given her a copy of Dirty Dancing. He didn't know what it was about, probably just some people twirling in the mud, but Carter had assured him that it was romantic and would work just fine.

Now all he needed to do was get Sadie down here.

He shifted to the Brooklyn House and found Carter. "Hey," he said to get Carter's attention. Carter turned and looked at him."Hey," he said back. Anubis nodded and continued. "I have everything ready. Please tell her to come to the Feast Hall." With that he shifted back in to the Duat.

He was sure everything was perfect. He considered wearing his formal Egyptian collar and kilt, but he figured that now was not the best time. Instead he wore a slightly disheveled white button-up shirt and black slacks with converse. The girl had said that was the best look. Dressy enough that he cared, but messy enough that he was still a hardcore punk rocker. Yes, everything was going to go perfectly. Now he had to wait and do something about the knots that were being tied in the pit of his stomach.

*~*~*~*~*

Carter and Sadie were getting on the boat that would take them in to the Duat. He hadn't told his sister what was happening because he wanted it to be a surprise.

"Why are we going in to the Duat?" Sadie asked. She had on a plaid shirt, a pair of torn jeans, and her signature combat boots. "Because," said Carter trying his best to sound irritated so he didn't spoil the surprise, "we have to go see Anubis about something." It was all he could do to not finish that sentence with, "so you two can get all kissy face with each other." He was going to have to start puking to keep from spilling the dough.

"Fine." Sadie said not unhappily. In truth she did want to see him again, even though she saw him almost every day. Carter enjoyed not being hit for once. As the boat slowly ...er, descended?... in to the Duat they could see the line of souls waiting to get in to the Hall of Judgement. They parked the boat and slipped past the line. "So, what does he want?" Sadie asked her brother. He shrugged. "He didn't say. Just that he wanted to talk to you."

"Me? What about you?" Oh, he had done it now. How should he put this? I want to make sure he doesn't hurt you even though you can probably take care of yourself? That made her sound weak and was liable to give him an extra spot of dark purple on his person. He'd rather avoid that if he could. "I don't know." was all he could think of to say. She shrugged as they continued down the dark halls.

The dim light from the glowing hieroglyphs in the walls didn't provide the best amount of light but it was enough to get through. At the edge of their vision as far away as they could see, they saw a figure standing there. Carter clapped Sadie's back and pushed her forward. "You two have fun." he said as he turned around. The figure came forward and Sadie could see it was Anubis. "Hey," he said. "H-hey," she said back. "So, what did you want?" Without answering, Anubis swung his arm around her shoulders and lead her down the hall.

"I wanted to take you out on a date, and this is the best way I knew how." he said sheepishly. "Oh." was all she said. He lead them through the doors that went in to the Feast Hall. Sadie gasped when she saw all the food, and Anubis gasped when he noticed someone in the throne.

This whole room was supposed to be empty! No one was supposed to be here! He forgot to leave a message that said, Hey, I'm reserving this room for tonight so DO NOT DISTURB!
He had assumed that Osiris would be busy managing the dead. He looked around for other stray spirits and saw none. What should he do? He couldn't just ignore Osiris, so should he invite him to join them? Yes, it was the only way.

He took his arm off of Sadie's shoulders and addressed Osiris. "Lord Osiris, I didn't expect to see you here." Osiris looked at them and smiled. "Ah how good to see you, Anubis! And Sadie! You're here too." He motioned towards the table." Someone seems to have taken great care to put all this food on the table. Could it have been you, Anubis?"

Anubis could feel his face redden. "Yes, sir." he said. "W-would you like to join us?" Osiris smiled again and said, "No, not really. But, I should make sure that you aren't going to do something untoward to my daughter." Before he could say anything that would jeopardize his existence, he lead Sadie towards a seat and held it out for her. Sadie and her father carried on a pleasant conversation about the new recruits at the Brooklyn House.

"You should see them! These new people are really nailing their magic!" she said as Osiris nodded politely. Anubis took his seat across from her and the giant turkey. As he was about to pull his chair in, Osiris grabbed the back and said, "No, no let me." And pushed him in. Osiris made no move to sit anywhere or leave. "Would you like to sit down, sir?" he asked.

"No, I think I like this spot the best." Anubis could feel the looming presence that was the father of the daughter he was trying to date. He watched Sadie try to contain the laughter that at this point would eventually turn in to pomegranate juice flowing from her nose. "Dad, do you plan on standing there the whole time?" she asked, half laughing. "Yes," he said. "Anything to keep him from hurting you. You wouldn't hurt her... would you?" he said the last part menacingly. "No, sir," Anubis said.

Notes