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I guess it's kind of like the Persephone/Hades story, but it's different. And most of the time my descriptions do not adequately represent my story. So this is pretty much just going to be a disclaimer
I may not own Percy Jackson and the characters involved in the books and movies [That privelege belongs to Rick Riordan], but I do own Eliza and the Elico pairing so yay!
@Constrictor
I agree...
Except *Asian
No offense I just-
[I'm Asian it looks kind of funny spelled like that-]
First off... Her last name is Jackson? Yikes! Listen, Sally wouldn't just have another kid trust me, the surname is not very acceptable. Secondly, why the heck did you give "Eliza" katanas?! Why must people always give GREEK demigods ASAIN weapons! She is not asain and should not have katanas. Maybe if you did some research, you'd learn what type of Greek weapons you could have given her. Also the pacing was a bit rushed and all over the place. I barley got through the first chapter and even then I was confused. Try to slow it down a bit and explain yourself more.
Great Writing !!! :)
You are welcome to visit my site also http://StoriesCity.com !
It's a social network for stories only so it could be a great place to post your writings!
Let me know what you think about my site and what is your username onhttp://StoriesCity.com so we can be friends there :-)
@Constrictor
Thanks for the advice. Um... about the surname Jackson... Yeah. I haven't really gotten a chance to finish and publish a lot of my stories that explain that, but Eliza is Percy's sister, but he didn't know it until he came to Camp, because she was basically removed from the house and lived with Poseidon for seven years until bad things happened and she ended up with her mother putting her in an orphanage. She did know of Percy, but did not know him personally because of having little time with him as a young child. Eliza is almost the same as a half-sibling in that she does not live with Percy and Sally even after meeting Percy at Camp. She, instead, lives at her boarding school with her roommate Susana. So she has very little outside world communication with Percy.
Also, the katanas. There's never really been a good reason for that besides the fact that they are great weapons, making it very easy to kill someone with just a blow to the head (#6 of this link:http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1238-6-things-movies-get-wrong-about-swords-an-inside-look.html), but I guess it would embrace my own love for different cultures. Katanas have always been my personal favorite weapon, even more so after last year when I learned so much about them. It gives Eliza her own personal touch to her weapons that no one else would really have.
Again. Thank you for the feedback and I will try to improve my writing in the future.
12/30/15