21 Things I Know About You

Blame it on the Dolophine. Methadone is a hard downer. I jumped Drew for what she did. I just thought of a funny (Slim Shady-esque) skit: Just go up to them and be like "Hey kids, you like violence?" then proceed to beat Drew.
"You're kidding." I tell myself, not knowing what about. I heard groaning. Someone heard me! Time to jump out my window into the 15 foot drop.
"Yaaahh!!" I yell. I run towards Tucson Boulevard for some coffee. If I can, I think I can get my head back. I run for fifteen minutes. I'm at the Starbucks. Yes!
THUD.
I would have never beat up Drew if I had known what they'd do to me.
"Hi! My name is Jason Grace!" I utter, which is my catchphrase.
"Hey, Jason!" a female voice says. I turn to see it's Piper. But I also see Drew and Caitlyn. The other daughter of Eminem and Demeter.
"This is shady. Very shady." I tell them.
"The boys will be here with the baseball bats tomorrow." Caitlyn tells me. "So I suggest you strip off your clothes!" she demands. She can yell as loud as her father. I wonder what he would think of this.
I never thought in a million years I'd get gangbanged. Hey, at least I'll get pleasure out of this.
They play my favorite song on their iPad, "My Name Is"
"You're trying to torture me."
"I'll do the talking here." Caitlyn ordered.
"Which one of them do I wanna impregnate?" I whispered to myself.
Drew punches me in the face. It was so fun. They all played me up. It was an hour each. They all rammed their *you-know-what* against my frickin' cock. I cummed on all of them twice. The Dolophine had its benefits!
"More." I tell them.
"And who said you are calling the shots?" Caitlyn asked me. She's doing most of the talking.
"More." I say, more seriously.
I loved how Piper did it. Caitlyn mostly screamed and smoked weed.
"Hey, Jason... I still like you... just play along, okay?" she whispers as she's grinding my cock.
"Roger that," I respond.
"Cut that out," Drew orders.
"My ass is sore." I false-complain when the clock hits 5:00. Piper knew I was still turned on to the extreme. So, that's what we did. She grinded my butt. Supposedly, she saved me. Percy, Stan and Jake Mathers were supposed to be back 20 minutes ago to kill me, or at least sleep me. Piper called them and called it off. Everybody listens to Piper, yeah, she charmspeaked them to save me.
"Just don't frickin' cheat again!" and she slaps me.

Notes

Crazy chapter right? Under the influence of Eminem music when writing this crap.