Old Friends - Comments, page 2

@theteenagefandom
:)

No problem!

@theteenagefandom
Aww thanks you've Been really nice and I totally appreciate all the support!!!

You have a shout out here :)

Awww thanks

Thanx!!

Haha but that's good! I'll direct some people over here to check you out.

@theteenagefandom
:) you make me blush behind this computer screen:)

Don't worry about it too much. You already sound pretty talented.

@theteenagefandom
Thanks. I'll do the best I can. Btw would you recommend dialogue or more about what's happening?

Like this is what I'm talking about. The first two sentences are sort of misplaced...there needs to be something in between "bed" and "Demigods."

Thank you :)))

Develop it a little more - seems rather abrupt from where I stand. (I assume you have more since it's only an excerpt ATM)
Watch punctuation.
And don't overuse adjectives and descriptive words, because eventually they lose their worth and it's all people see.

@theteenagefandom
Thanks so much!!! I love your stories!! any tips or ideas?

Sounds like a good start :)