Help Corner!

Review:

If you want a story with a great and amazing plot twist, powers, adorable romance. Then this is the story for you and a must read! I absolutely loved the plot twist and the adorable love interest featuring, yes, everyone's favorite seventh wheel LEO!

I give this story a 7 reasons being that the story is very bam, bam, bam and Leo's character is slightly off but nothing bad bad! :) Still a good read and I can't wait to see what the collaboration of LeoValdezBadBoyExtreme and DauntlessDemigod has in store for this story!



Suggestions (I assume that you all know the dealio here [i love saying this] enter at your own risk of spoilers!):



Ok you are doing a great job! But there are some things that you need to work on.

The big thing that got me the most is that the plot was just throwing stuff at me.
Like BAM! She's on the run
BAM! Get's nearly attacked by hunters
BAM! Hunters lead her to camp.
BAM! LEO
BAM! hehehehehehe you're a goddess lol
Try and slow down and describe things a little more and fill in stuff to where the story is just the main points of the plot.
Cause it feels like you're just hitting the reader with tennis balls with main plot stuff. Rather what you should do is ease them into things. Now not saying that you can hit the reader with a plot twist or whatnot is just that doing it ALL THE TIME gets to be annoying.

Another thing about the goddess dealio: If she is soo powerful as they say why are they not slightly afraid of her. The god DO care for their children from time to time but if they are going to threaten their Olympian status then they would be more weary about the kid. But since she's NOT a born descendant of any of the god or goddesses they would (in my opinion) not be her biggest fan. Also remember that each god and goddess has their own agenda!

This is a biggie and it's not that bad but it must be addressed: Leo isn't exactly Leo. He seems like a different person reason being is that he's the comedian when it comes to the Seven. And the way he copes with nervousness or pain is that he tells a joke to try and lighten up the mood. So try and put that in later and more often. (it's something i do in person so i know how Leo feels.)

So i think that's all for right now!
Signing Off!
Eliza Rush. <3

Notes

IF YOU WISH TO HAVE YOUR STORY REVIEWED PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I'LL BE HAPPY TO DO IT FOR YOU! (the line is gone so itll be quicker but no promises {i have a life you know})

@LeoValdezBadBoyExtreme and @DauntlessDemigod if you have any questions or comments please let me know!