Help Corner!

Whoo! Finally get to have this done!

Can I just say wow? HBHC is one of the most popular fanfictions and I am honored to review it! Teenagedfandom did an amazing job in combining two worlds and made a chapter that fit into it well. I haven't read The Mortal Instruments (Which is the other half of the crossover to PJO obviously) but this story wants me to check it out!

This story emcumbances a good plot and twist that is really awesome and many characters together for an adventure of a lifetime! Sadly at this story has not been finished and left it at a pause on which I do not like lol.

This story gets for me about a 6. Reasons of being of character issues and some minor plot holes. But all in all a great and loooong read for the holidays and summer time.


Suggestions for the author:


(Spoiler alert)

Merry Belated Christmas!

So Echo about the issues I listed above I just want to dive right in, ok?


This story in the beginning needs more backstory. A prologue or something, the beginning almost demands it, seeing that Echo has built up relationships with the seven and the characters of The Mortal Instruments. An interductory of Echo's character would help tremendously with your story so we want to cheer Echo on. Like she getting claimed then whatever happens in The Mortal Instruments, and then how Echo bonded with Calypso, and also Echo and Leo's history. It'd make thing less confusing and helps fill in the gaps.

Also concerning plot: ok Leo is back and Echo admits her feelings and BAM! Ship. Ok? Well lets just sit down for a second, why isn't Leo feeling torn at this point? On the one hand Echo has had the feelings before Calypso but he just swore that he would come back for Calypso so that would add to the story.

Also in general adding to the story would generally be a good idea cause there is a lot of blood everywhere and injuries and stuff to where it just gets annoying how that they can heal and go on about their business as if absolutely nothing happened. I know it happened between chapters and don't worry it happens to me too. :)

Also in the beginning its obviouEcho/Leo
Thing is going on but as soon as Alec steps into the picture its all about them and its annoyingly obvious. Make it more difficult for the reader to guess what's going to happen.


Also sometimes the fight scescenes can be pretty blurry, when writing its a good idea to either put it down a while and do something else and then come back and read it over again carefully or have someone else read it.

Also differiantion in character voices is important cause sometimes reading through it was almost like Echo talking to herself. What I do is that I plan out the character to the tiniest detail and listen for their voice in my head, cause nobody talking the same, right?

Also share some of the good stuff with other characters rather than hogging it all for Echo, such as talking, ideas, fighting, winning, and plot. Its really hard to do that because you have so many characters but if you do it right it'll be perfect.

Side plots really help the web of your story come together. But make sure you don't make Echo the smartest out of all of them and not allow the characters should bend automatically to her will. Have more legit arguments and differences of opinions.


Also Echo seems too tough really, like she can withstand anything and everything. Give her a breaking point
where she just breaks down.

And in one chapter you over do it when you say that one of the mortal instruments characters is a bad cook.

Also apparently everyone is hopeless clumsy or it seems that way. Sit down and work out different character quirks so it seems more believable.

Ok here are a couple of no nos:

NEVER ASK THE READERS ON WHAT THEY THINK SHOULD HAPPEN AND THEN DO IT. It's your story and your world, your readers should just be the fans, and you should remain the writer. Besides originality is the best :) (no problems in asking specific people to help but as a general rule don't ask your readers to come up with the ideas)

Try not to ask for peoples characters to put into your story unless you really understand them and thety are not as useless as a lamp. At your point i would just start working in your own characters and build them up until they feel like real flawed people. To help with character stuff i find it great to RP with somebody. (I'd love to do it with you if you want *hint**hint*)


so work on character and plot devolpment and you'll be on your way!


ECHO IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS PLEASE MESSAGE ME DIRECTLY AND WE CAN TALK.


Blessings!

~Eliza Rush

Notes