Help Corner!

Review:

Ok, here's the deal, this is an amazing book! And I'm not just saying that I'm cheering on a Apollo sister! No if you want a book where you can cheer on the characters and laugh at the awkwardness moments this is it! Now I'm not saying there isn't romance which there isn't at least between the main (OC) characters, so far at least: I'm saying that I connect with Alicia when I'm around couples.

Go for the action on this one and some awesome humor!
I'm going to give this one a 8 Good Job Daughter_Of_Athena you earned it!


Suggestions for the Author (*spoiler alert* if you haven't read the story enter at your own risk!)

Daughter_of_Athena you are doing a great job I almost don't what I could help you with! But there are some things.

You rushed in the beginning of the story. Don't worry it happens, sometimes as writers we get excited about the middle part we forget the beginning! Yeah it happens a lot and it doesn't necessarily happen in the beginning so be careful after you've had writer's block. i found the rushing when everyone is at Camp Half-Blood and this were going everywhere and the rushing is dangerous because they won't know where things are going and they'll get lost. (personally I get lost REALLY easily cause I'm usually listening to my music or something just grabs my attention) So do your best and not rush through everything:

This can be fixed by trying to be a little more descriptive, the way I do it is I try to imagine my story being made into a movie and other people have to see what I see so yeah I get descriptive. If it seems blurry to what's going on then try to focus with detail!

Another thing you jump in with random stuff and it's a little distracting for the story line. An example is when Isaac and Lainey capture the two cheerleaders Alicia goes, "Hey I got a bow lettme kill them!"
"That's a negative ghost rider." It throws off the reader and if it does serves nothing for the purpose of the story then: DO NOT DO IT! I used to this too and trust me I was worse. hehehehehe (don't ask)

Other than that you are doing good! I cheered them all on and laughed and cried! (I'm dramatic can't you tell?)
Hope this helps!

See Ya!
Eliza Rush

Notes

Fourth Review/Suggestions!

If you wish to have me review your story and give suggestions to make it better please contact me and I'll be happy to do it!

@Daughter_of_Athena if you have and questions or comments please let me know!