Help Corner!

Review:

This book is still in the beginning stages so again it's hard to get a read where ArtemisHunter99 is going with this. But from what I can read there could be a possible adventure on the side of Zoe Nightshade and Bianca in the stars during the book "The Last Olympian" or it's coming up to it lolz!

Since this story is in it's real early stages I can only give a 4.9
I'm optimistic about this story and I can't wait to see what ArtemisHunter99 has in store!

Suggestions (You know the drill: enter at your own risk of spoilers):


Alrighty ArtemisHunter99 this story has amazing potential!
But here's the deal, all your chapters could have been fit into one. Mechanics of that nature can be a little hard to figure it out. Try thinking of it as a TV show when do cut a chapter short: If this story was a TV show when would the commercial breaks be?

I didn't see tooo many grammar errors so you're ok.

But here's the deal, you seem like you just randomly got this story and just wrote it out. When you come up with a story idea think on it and figure out the plot with a timeline like with my story The First Daughter I said to myself:

A): Actiony beginning and get's taken to the sky get hit with a rocket and passes out.
B): Recaps what happened before, has a dream, wakes up , finds out she's a demigod, meets character Darren.
C) Describes her night at Hermes Cabin, has another dream, prank gone bad and makes eye contact with Lilly.

Then you decide how you are going about it. And I also noticed while I was on your page that you do have a LOT of stories and you said that you have a lot of ideas but don't know how to execute them. Well try putting them all together! And you know just work on one story at a time and sometimes even for me I can't get passed one thing until I get passed a thing in my head then write it down just to get it out of your head!

I think that's all I saw!
Just keep practicing friend and you'll become a great writer!
Eliza Rush

Notes

Hello! If you want your story reviewed and want suggestions to make it better please let me know and I'll get to work on it! (Side note: the waiting line has diminished thanks to a lot of work yesterday so it's not going to take long lolz)

@ArtemisHunter99 if you have any questions or comments please let me know!