Reviews and Recommendations

Okay, BEFORE I START....When I review, I give you a certain number of points out of ten on subjects that I think are critical to the story. After I complete giving you points, I take them and average them out, and that's the rating that I give your story. If you fix what I point out, and I find it to be satisfactory to MY taste, I'll come back and edit the review and boot your points up so you have a better rating. Needless to say, I don't hold back from my opinions, so if I offend you, I apologize in advance. Just realize I am entitled to my own opinion, and if you aren't satisfied with what I have to say, I'm sorry.

Okay, SO. Sons of Anarchy asked me to review his two stories, which I read last night. Here you go:

Perseus: THE ONE

Okay, so I found the INITIAL story line somewhat confusing and rushed. I do understand the basic plot, though I don't know exactly where you were going with it. It sounded interesting, to say the least. I liked your prolouge, and I liked what you did with your story and how you came up with different ideas, but I had a hard time understanding what was going on due to some pretty bad grammatical errors and punctuation misplacement.

So, POINTS!

Cover picture, Characters, and Summary - 7
I liked your cover photo A LOT. It's really awesome! You were lacking on characters, plus your summary was...not really a summary. I would suggest being a bit clearer on what your story is about so you can draw readers in. Your front page appearance is HUGE.

Plot - 8
I liked your plot. I thought it was different than the rest of the stories here, and it wasn't something that EVERYONE would have thought of. However, I was somewhat confused with your ending, though I am not sure if you're done with the story yet or not.

Chapter Length/Content - 5
I found the length of your chapters to be a good, strong length - enough to get necessary information in, but not so long that your readers get tired and want to stop. The content was confusing, and I had to re-read a few times, but if you keep reading you can see why!

Basic Editing Skills - 3
There were quite a few misspellings and errors made in your text that should be easy to edit out - A suggestion would be to use spell-check before publishing to catch the sneaky errors that you make when typing.

Overall Grammatical Structure - 3
You were missing key things such as capitalization, punctuation, paragraphs, and dialogue spaces. Try reading through my Grammatical Structures chapter for some tips.

Descriptive Elements - 5
You did very well describing your scene and the characters you were using - the problem that I had was that I sometimes didn't know what you were describing because of run-on sentences. Great job though. I liked your ability to use different words to convey the description to the readers.

My Comprehension - 4
I had a difficult time understanding what you were talking about, but as I mentioned before, I like where you plot is (hopefully) going. Keep writing!

Okay, so the rating for this story is...5.0. If these problems don't irk you, I think you'll find yourself a good read on your hands!

DESTINY'S CHILD

Okay, so I found this story to be much better than the latter. The plot, in of itself, was easy to understand, plus the story was in more detail that the first. I enjoyed myself much more on this one, but I still noticed a few details that bothered me. I really liked the last few chapters the best....:D

So, POINTS!

Cover picture, Characters, and Summary - 10
I liked your cover photo A LOT. It's really awesome, just like the first! You were much better on characters (WHICH is why I gave you the ten!) but your summary was...a picture? I would suggest being a bit clearer on what your story is about so you can draw readers in. Your front page appearance is HUGE (I think you nailed it with your character descriptions, though.)

Plot - 6
I liked your plot, but I was confused because there seemed to be a lot of jumping around in both time and P.O.V.'s (That messes with my brain a little.) BUT, it still sounds really cool!

Chapter Length/Content - 5
I found the length of your chapters to be a bit shorter than the usual, but they were somewhat easier to make out what you were showing us. I think they're better grammatically structured than the others, as well.

Due to a recent update, I will bump up the points to a solid 10.

Basic Editing Skills - 4
There were a few errors made in your text that should be easy to edit out - A suggestion would be to use spell-check before publishing to catch the mistakes that you make when typing.

Recent update will bump these points to a 10.

Overall Grammatical Structure - 5
You were missing things, but your dialogue was separated (to the point where I knew who was talking) which was much easier for me to read, plus you separated your thoughts with commas (Most of them, anyways) AND you capitalized most everything that needed to be. Still, there were errors in the text that caused me to trip up, but you most definitely improved.

The recent update will bump your points up to a 9.5

Descriptive Elements - 6
You did very well describing your scene and the characters you were using - the problem that I had was that I sometimes didn't know what you were describing because of run-on sentences. Great job though. I liked your ability to use different words to convey the description to the readers.

My Comprehension - 6
I had an easier time reading, and I think I might just continue to read on with this one.

I will bump these points to 10 because of the update.

Okay, so the rating for this story is...9.5 (after putting in the new points.) Good job with improving! Keep it up. ;)

These stories were interesting, it's just I have problems reading things that aren't edited well. BUT, most of you guys are really creative, and when you fix your problems, your stories BREAK THE AWESOME BARRIER! Just PLEASE be aware of errors!

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