Resurrected

Ethan's POV

I spent the entire rest of the day alone, which was probably the worst thing I could have done. I mean, I needed to talk to Charlie, right? He was the one trying to redeem himself. I needed to talk to Alex, seeing as I had acted like a class-A jerk in front of her last time. And then there was Tommy…no, I couldn’t speak to Tommy. I just couldn’t.

But here I was, exactly twenty-four hours after we had tried Charlie’s plan, still lying in the Infirmary bed. I was about to get up and leave, to actually talk to another human, when fate intervened.

“Ethan?” Alex called, walking into the bright Infirmary, “Are you in here?”

“Back here,” I said, my throat constricting from nervousness.

“We need to talk,” She said, walking towards me. I felt like she was an angry lioness stalking her prey.

I thought about saying What about?, but then I realized that saying that would be stupid. I knew what she had come to talk about.

“Yeah, I guess we do,” I said, looking down. I breathed in, feeling frail and cold, like a little kid out in winter.

“Ethan, what’s gotten into you?” She asked, her words almost forcing me to look at her. Her bright green eyes sparkled with tears that I couldn’t possibly understand.

“What do you mean, what’s gotten into me?” I said, rage lacing my words like poison. I tried to calm myself down, but I was shocked to find that this rage wasn’t coming at all from the Black Spot. It was my own original anger, something I hadn’t felt since my first life.

“You know what I mean!” Alex said, “You’re refusing to talk to me, refusing to voice your opinion, refusing to admit the one thing that’s killing you!”

“The only thing that’s killing me,” I shouted, ripping off my shirt and showing the Black Spot, “Is this! Or that stupid plan of Charlie’s!”

“You still won’t admit it!” Alex said softly in disbelief, “You still can’t face one simple fact!”

“What’s that, then?” I asked, accepting her check-mate, “What could be killing me right now?”

“You can’t face the fact that you love Tommy,” She said, silencing the world.

I swallowed hard. I realized that she was right, and that she had always been right. I loved Tommy, more than anything else in the world. My silence confirmed it for her, and she finally let the tears that had been pressing against her eyes go.

What surprised me, however, was that she was smiling. Cynically smiling, like she knew that this was going to happen, and was happy that it had finally come out.

“I knew it,” She said, “I knew you’d be silent. Ethan Nakamura, the hero who stood up to Kronos, the boy who came back from the dead, and he gets speechless from a little crush.”

“A little crush?” I said, incredulously, “Is that all you think I have?”

“Ethan, you misunderstand,” She said, smiling, “What I’m saying is that you are killing everyone involved in this plan, as well as those who care about you, by being silent. Everyone outside thinks you’ve gone through some mental breakdown. Charlie is afraid to trust you. Tommy thinks that he hurt you in some way. I think that…”

She never finished her sentence.

“What?” I asked, “What do you think?”

I tried to be spiteful, to hurt her with my words, but looking at her fractured eyes, I couldn’t. It came out more like confused optimism, mixed with the realism of guilt.

“I think that you used me,” she said, her voice hollow, “Used me to hide from your feelings for Tommy. I think that you never really had any feelings for me. I think that you were just so afraid of loving Tommy that you had to find something to pour your fear into. I think that’s why you couldn’t look at me as soon as you got that Black Spot. I think that’s why you couldn’t kiss me.”

Looking at her, her eyes a thousand miles away and her mind even farther, I bitterly realized how amazing she was. I realized how perfect she would be as a girlfriend, someone that could balance out all my imperfections. That’s when I realized that I was truly torn between two people.

“No!” I said softly, almost chuckling in relief, “That’s not why I couldn’t kiss you, Alex! I couldn’t do that because of this stupid Black Spot.”

I took her hand and pressed it onto my chest.

“Alex, the reason I couldn’t kiss you then was because I needed something to think of to calm me down when the Spot made me into the Hulk. Do you know what I had to think of?”

My question forced her to look into my eyes.

“What?” She asked, her voice less hollow.

“I had to think of your face,” I said. I had thought that it had been so cheesy when Nemesis had suggested it, but now that I thought about it, I realized how noble it felt. I got up from my bed, and put my hand lightly under her chin. I gently guided her face to look at me.

“You were the only thing I could think off that could get 100% of my brain to calm down and remember that life was worth living. You, Alexandra Rodriguez, were my salvation. But when you tried to get close, it all failed. I couldn’t think of you to calm myself while you were right in front of me.”

“Really?” She asked, her eyes searching for a reason to hope.

“Really,” I said, “I’ve found a different way to calm myself down, and I’ll keep that to myself for now, okay?”

“Okay,” She said.

Then, she started to walk away. I felt satisfied with how I had conducted myself, even though I still was confused and torn between her and Tommy. I was about to sit back down again when she turned around and grabbed my collar. Then, she crushed her lips against mine.

Her lips were soft, but the kiss wasn’t. It was the most amazing thing I had ever felt. For those few moments, I felt like the Black Spot had never existed. But after the first rush of everything I realized how desperate she felt. She was running her fingers through my hair like she would never get the chance to do so again. Her left hand, the hand she was currently grasping my shirt with, was trembling like she was on a caffeine binge.

Finally, she released, and I smiled. She tried to smile, but it was like she knew I wasn’t interested.
Even though she had just kissed me, I was still confused about Tommy. Then, I realized something. Tommy would never love me back. Alex would. And that’s all it took. I rushed forward and kissed her again, and this time, she actually smiled.

“I love you, Alex,” I said, breathless.

Thus begins the most painful couple of days in my life.

Notes

There you go. Thank you so much for 7K.

Enjoy,
Grafon