"No." My arms akimbo, I flicked my hair out of my eyes. "There is no way on heaven and earth you're getting me to wear that."

"Aw, please?" Aria, my older sister, begged. Her big blue eyes entertained a rueful look that made it nearly impossible to resist giving in.

"How many times do I have to say it?" I huffed. "I don't do dress clothes. EVER."

She sighed and let the actually quite cute looking dress slip from her fingers and onto the floor of Athena cabin, not sure whether to persist or give up. "Why not?"

I shifted my weight from leg to leg and shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from playing with them out of nervousness. "I just…I don't know. I don't like them."

Aria frowned. "You seem to dislike them a whole lot for having never worn one."

"How would you know if I've never worn one?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but apparently realized she didn't. She wasn't around for the last seven years of my life, so I guess she wouldn't.

"Well do you still want to go, or don't you?" Aria asked impatiently, scooping up the dress and fumbling it back onto its hanger and into the closet.

"I'll go…" I muttered. Yeah, I wanted time to re-bond with my sister. Again, six years since I last saw her. But mall shopping? Never done it before, and was hoping I'd never have to. 'But you're always wanting to do normal things, Krys.' I chastised myself. 'Here's your chance.'

I grabbed my bag -- at least it was a book bag and not some fancy, girly, purse-thing -- and headed for the door, ignoring Aria's "wait up" pleas. Once she caught up with me, the silence that settled over us was almost as intense as the thick, cold, December fog. I flung my head back and stared up at the sky, a light layer of snowflakes catching in my eyelashes and blurring my vision. If the Christmas/New Year season is dedicated to reminiscence, mine should be quite interesting. It had been just over a year since I came to Camp Half-Blood, and the good memories were equal in number with the bad.

Aria placed a hand on my far shoulder and pulled me close to her, both hugging me in excitement and…well, I guess sharing body warmth or something weird like that. After a moment, she noticed my discomfort and pulled back with a rather disappointed sigh. That sigh -- that disappointment -- kind of hurt. After everything I did in my youth to appease her and get her attention, I still couldn't stand to see her dissatisfied. It felt like I'd failed her, even if I hadn't actually done anything wrong. I mean, it's not like refusing physical touch is a crime or something. But still…

We got into the car and drove the short ways to a large, open air mall in complete silence. Even simple things like car rides now reminded me of just about every car-related bad memory I'd ever had. The initial crash. Nicole -- my best and only friend -- losing her hand. My mom's murder-that-later-turned-out-to-not-really-be-death. All that good stuff. That's what I got for being eidetic, I guess.

Aria seemed to have forgotten entirely about our previous little quarrel, as she grabbed me by the hand an just yanked me from the car, through the parking lot, and into the mall. We rushed around in what felt like a blur. None of these stores were really familiar to me. I could tell they were big names that I should have known, like JCPenny and a bunch of others, but they only sounded vaguely familiar: the last time I'd heard them, I was less than nine years old. Christmas trees were up all over the place, making the whole mini-town-like mall smell like pine. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually an artificially enhanced smell. Go figure: leave it to my pessimism to kill the mood

There were only two things I really enjoyed about that whole Christmas shopping session. The first was buying presents for mom. Gods, I didn't have a clue what to get her. Back in Bangladesh -- at least where I lived -- a basket of fruit or a live chicken would have been going overboard. But here, there was such a huge variety of things to choose from, plus my limited knowledge of what is and isn't appropriate/appreciated…it was a disaster waiting to happen. Luckily, with a little help from Aria, I ended up very pleased with the gift I chose.

The second best part of the trip was when she took me for hot chocolate. Gods, I felt like a little kid again. The sweets…I hadn't had them in so long. The way the chocolate melted on my tongue sent shivers down my spine and almost instantly destroyed my hyperattentivity. It felt amazing, and the music in the background just added to the effect.

Despite the "fun", we didn't do a lot of talking. Well, that's not exactly true. She talked a lot, and I kind of just sat there and listened. I knew how much she had missed having a sister to do those kinds of things with. And even though I was afraid I couldn't be that awesome sister she wanted so badly, I decided my Christmas present to her would be to at least try. Because trying was all I could do.

So, I tried. I tried to be interested, I tried to be involved, but I just…I just couldn't. I just wasn't.

We finally finished the shopping trip -- much to my unadmitted relief. I have worked at backbreaking paces almost nonstop for full length days, but shopping produced a weariness of its own. Aria decided to take me out for apparently my first coffee in the entirety of my seventeen years. She took me to a smaller shop a little ways from the city, on the outskirts. It was much prettier out there: more nature, less artificiality. Aria paid for coffees for her and I, and we went for a walk through town, looking at all the Christmas lights.

"It must be so easy," I muttered, breaking through the silence.

"What's easy?" Aria asked, looking at me. I could tell by her expression she was grateful I broke the ice so she didn't have to.

"Being normal. Being human."

"There's more to being human than just the 23 pairs of chromosomes, or a flawless bloodline. We of all people should know that." Aria sighed. "Krystal, it's Christmas time. You're overthinking everything. Just try to enjoy yourself."

My temper flared. "So, I'm supposed to ignore everything and pretend it doesn't exist? Wish my problems away? What a great message."

She gave me a strange and slightly sad look. "No. You're not supposed to pretend. But I think you're making too big of a deal out of things. There's no need for the constant pessimism."

I stopped walking. Aria stopped too, and turned to look at me. I suddenly started speed-walking, ignoring her questioning cries. I stopped at about fifteen feet from where she stood, then whirled around and rushed back. "Pessimism?" I said, my voice lowering. "My pessimism is the only thing that has kept me alive this long. Don't expect me to part with it at the whim of you, whom I haven't seen in so long that I was beginning to forget what you looked like!"

She flinched as though she had been slapped, and I knew immediately that I had said too much, and that I couldn't take it back. I looked away and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling a sting in the back of my eyes that I hadn't felt in months. Aria sounded angry and hurt as she spoke. "You say that like it was my fault I was almost murdered. You think I wouldn't have been there if I could have? I spentyears trying to find you again. Me and mom both.""I-I know," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

There was a long pause. "Do you really…did you really think I left on purpose?" Aria asked, a tremor in her voice that made me wonder if she was as close to tears as I was.

"No," I said. "No. I just…I just missed you so much. You were all I had left. And I know it wasn't your fault -- you saved my life -- but I still…that didn't make me need you any less."

Her expression softened, and the thin sheen of tears on her eyes glistened in the light of the setting sun. "Krystal…"

"I shouldn't…I shouldn't have said that," I interrupted. "I'm just so used to having only negative realism to keep me alive, that without it, I'm not sure what I would be."

Aria gripped my shoulders and turned me so I was facing her. "You would be my sister," she said. "You would be my friend."

My heart almost melted right then. I wanted to let it -- I wanted to let her in. But I couldn't. If I let her think she could love me, I would just end up hurting her.

So I walked away.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?!" Aria shouted after me. "I'm trying to help you! I'm trying to be there for you because I couldn't before."

"Aria," I said firmly, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I looked over my shoulder at her. "I don't think you should be so hasty to give me the okay. I've done things…I've done things in my life that if you knew, the horror you would feel would keep you from ever loving me again."

"Krystal, that wouldn't be unconditional love. If I stopped loving you because of something you did, then I never truly loved you at all. I know that whatever you did, you did because you thought it was right. You have a good heart. I don't need to know everything that happened to you while I was gone if you don't want to tell me, but what YOU need to know is that there's nothing you have done or could do that will make me stop loving you."

By then I was shaking, and it wasn't from the cold.

"I'm not asking you to forget about your problems," she continued. "That would be unrealistic. I'm asking you to push the ones that aren't in immediate need of attention to the back of your mind and focus on things that make you truly happy. Because that's what the Christmas season is about. It's about taking the time to pay more attention to the things daily life doesn't let us. Most people will probably tell you it's about 'giving', but they're wrong. Giving only scratches the surface! It's about taking your relationships and realizing them for what they are. It's about taking advantage of a time to build on those relationships and make them better. If giving is a part of that, then so be it. But giving won't do that on its own. Anyone can buy a box of chocolate and wrap it in a pretty bow. But a real Christmas is about being with those you love. And I love you. So…will you be with us or won't--"

She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence, as it was at that second that she and I were buried in a giant, warm hug. A hug that reached back into all of the pain and misery of the past seven years and made it all go away, if just for that moment. And it was the best hug I ever had. The tears came freely, then. For both of us. But they were happy tears. I was just so relieved: she had just shattered any nightmare of ostracization I'd ever had.

I lied. The best part of that day wasn't buying the presents, or tasting coffee for the first time, or being normal for once.

It was finally getting my sister back. And, I realized, thinking that maybe I had never lost her in the first place.

And that made me not feel so bad about dropping my coffee and spilling it all over us right then.

No biggie.

~~~~~

When we finally got back to camp, it was long after dark. We opened the door to Zeus cabin and spilled into the open living area, barely containing our laughter. We'd spent the last several hours just doing what friends do, and I really don't think there was a time I felt more normal than that day, when I stopped trying so hard to be it. The cabin's lights were turned off, but a soft glow emanated from the corner. As we approached, we gasped as we saw that it was a Christmas tree, completely decked out with tinsel and colored lights and glass balls. I hadn't seen one of those since I was eight. It was so beautiful, it brought those stupid tears back again. And the even prettier sight was Mom standing at the base of it, wearing a lop-sided Santa-hat and somehow holding three cups of hot cocoa all at once. Her face lit up with pure joy as we came up to her, and I swear she never looked happier than right then.

When we finally drank down the cocoa, I handed Mom the bag with my present for her in it.

"But it's only Christmas Eve!" She laughed, a bit surprised.

I shrugged, smiling. "I don't care. I can't wait a full nine hours to see you open it!"

She pulled out the tissue paper and folded it neatly on the ground in that proper little way of hers before pulling out the actual present. When she saw it, I swear, she completed our apparent new Christmas tradition of frequent tearfall.

I scooted up next to her and opened the book, flipping through its blank pages and fingering the empty photo-slots.

"I'm sorry…" Mom whispered, swiping at her eyes. "I don't have any pictures to put in it."

I just smiled and kissed her forehead. "That's the point. It's for new memories. So many bad things have happened to all of us, that I say dwelling on it will only make things worse. Hindsight 20/20 never helped anyone. So let's dedicate this photo album to new memories, okay?"

Mom pulled me and Aria into a tight hug, just like she would when we were little. It was awkward, seeing as we were all virtually the same size now, but we didn't care. All that mattered was that we were having our first, real, family Christmas in over eight years. And it was beautiful.

Notes

Yup...my challenge was to write a PJO/HOO or PJO/HOO OC Christmas fan-fiction in less than 48 hours, so I did. Completely unedited, first draft version. I'm pretty unsatisfied with it, so maybe some time I'll go back and make a second draft. *shrugs*

I didn't place in the contest...I guess I couldn't have expected to: I had 48 hours, while every other entry had six weeks, so yeah...Oh well! XD