All-nighters are a bitch. I needed something to wake me up (since coffee doesn't seem to be working anymore)

Submitted by: MrJoker20
Basics
Name: Theodora Karina McGuiness
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Birthday: February 17th
Ethnicity: Irish-Greek
Hair color: Blonde
Eye color: Blue
Other physical descriptions: Theo is a tall, slender woman with long blonde hair reaching halfway to her back with two bands that frame her face down to her chin. She has an hourglass figure, large breasts and cyan-colored eyes that have long, voluminous lashes. Due to her adventures with John, she has multiple scars on her shoulders and back.
[A character whose scars makes sense. Great.]

(I’m sorry, I'm so sorry. I know, it sounds terribly Sue-ish but the only reason is because she's Aphrodite's girl.)
[Makes sense. The addition of scars were great.]

Height: 175 cm (5'9")
Weight: 57 kilos (125 lbs)
Sexual orientation: Pansexual
[Hella]
Godly parent: Aphrodite
Mortal parent: Sean McGuiness (43) - Esthetician
Other relationships:

• John Vito Talbot - He is Theo’s second partner, and the man of her dreams. [Try to avoid that latter description.] They first met in 2010, when Theo was deserting Kronos’ Army and looking for a shelter; she came across John in a coffee shop. The two clearly left a strong impression on each other – Theo found no other man who measured up to him, and his affection for her was strong enough that he offered her to join him and travel together.

• Stephanie "Seth" Walker - Daughter of Nemesis. The two started with rocky relationship (met accidentally during John and Theo's job -> upcoming story: The Seal of Themis) however, when Seth rescued Theo from captivity, two girls decided to give each other a chance. Currently, Seth is the younger sister of the entire group frequently getting scolded by Theo (but usually in a friendly way).

• Rachel Banks - Theo's step-mother. She doesn't know about her step-daughter's real identity but the two have pretty good relationship; Rachel often asks Theo for tips about current fashion.

• Lisa Banks - Theo's fifteen-year-old mortal half-sister. They have a neutral relationship; there is no special 'sibling bond' between them but one can always come to another in case there is an issue.

[I’d actually count that as a special sibling bond. The ‘being able to talk to each other’ bit. In its way, it’s special.]

• Michael Banks - Theo's twelve-year-old mortal half-brother. Those two actually does not get along; Mike finds his second big sister an unnecessary baggage. [Why?] Despite being only 12 he is quite intelligent and can sense there is something wrong about Theo.

Personality
Positive traits: Theo is an extremely warm individual; she is able to open her heart so easily to new people joining the Talbot Family, some may call her gullible and naïve.
[That is the impression she gives.]
Thanks to her powers, however, she is able to judge and read people perfectly, knowing who to trust.

She is described being as intelligent as her husband, and a very kind and gentle person. This behavior draws people towards her, making her a sort of mother/big sister to every member of the Talbot Family. She has this unique kind of motherly aura around her which makes other open to her; this can also be useful during jobs which require her to obtain information from the targets.

Negative traits: She is also shown to be stubborn and taking a great amount of pleasure from being in charge. She is, by far, the only member of the Talbot Family who can bring John Talbot back on earth and criticize him, without getting a payback.

Theo is also seen being very protective of her relatives (see: Fatal Flaw) and would often forbid her husband or daughter risky actions, even if this would affect their relationship.

Fatal Flaw: Because the gods not allowed to visit their children often, Theo developed a mother complex and now is trying to be the most compassionate and gentle person towards everyone close to her. This may lead to her being overprotective and decline to take a risk which could turn out to be the only solution to a crisis.
[Very dangerous. Similar to personal loyalty but little more... sentimental? Bottomline is, you made it unique and different.]

Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-Blood (formerly)
Weapon of choice: Theo uses generic swords or spears from Talbot Family's armory. She does, however, prefer using bow and arrows and act as a sort of sniper during operations.
[NICE CHOICE]
Powers and Abilities: Amokinesis: As the daughter of Aphrodite, she has absolute control over love, beauty and desire. She may be able to induce or decrease the feeling of love in others, although on much smaller scale than her mother.
[Erm… you may want to nuke this a bit. Could potentially make this girl over-powered. Also, it's kinda weird with her "motherly" tendencies]

• Enhanced Beauty: Due to her divine heritage, Theo is, in most cases, physically, personally and socially perfect and graceful, without anything that would make her look unattractive. For example, rising straight from the bed after hard nights partying and wearing rattiest possible clothes would make her look like the best supermodel.
[Don’t include this.]

• Enhanced Attraction: Theo is able to induce seductive thoughts to the minds of others by speaking with subliminal seductive power behind each word, and stimulate the brain's pleasure centers by voice, gestures or behavior.
[Interesting]

• Desire Form: Theo can modify her appearance at will; she can change the color of her eyes and hair, alter her facial features (change shape of her ears and nose, etc.) or model her figure, as well as height and weight.
[I’d advice that you remove this.]

Empathic Perception: Theo can fully interpret and replicate the emotions, moods, and temperaments of others without reading apparent symptoms, allowing her to understand introverts or discover one emotion is actually hiding another. She is especially good in detecting love in others; she often uses this to confirm John’s feelings for her, without him realizing.

She is also a very good actress.

[Be careful with this]

Backstory:
Theo was born in 1991 to Sean McGuiness and the goddess Aphrodite in Dublin, Ireland. Although she wasn't told who her mother is (until she turned 13), Theo had a happy childhood and tried to cause no trouble to her dad. Those two developed a fantastic relationship; Theo was always daddy's little girl but turned out very helpful, especially when Sean had to stay late at work.
[It does make sense that she wasn’t attacked by monsters. It was mentioned that Aphrodite and Demeter kids give faint auras]

When Theo was 6, Sean married Rachel Banks and they all moved to America, where they would open their own beauty salon. After that Rachel and Sean had two kids - Lisa and Michael. Theo was really into being their big sister so she helped however she could. By the time she was 13, Sean decided to tell her the truth about her; she was a demigod, daughter of a goddess. This made her demigod Aura intensify, drawing monsters (and the local satyr) closer to her.
[Self-awareness does make the aura stronger]

She managed to safely get to Camp Half-Blood (with Dean the satyr, using Gray Sisters' Taxi) and she trained there for few years. Eventually, at 16, she became one of the demigods joining Luke Castellan's cause.
[Why?]
There she was placed in a battle unit under David Nolan, son of Demeter, whom she developed an admiration for. He was calm and calculating soldier on the outside but, when she got close to him, he revealed his true ambitions: to get rid of Ethan Nakamura and become Kronos’ right-hand man. He was manipulating everybody around him, using them as stepping stones to gain power.
[asshat]
In the end, he manipulated Theo as well. It was because of David she fled the Battle of Manhattan, deserting Kronos' Army. While escaping, she found shelter in a coffee shop where she met John Talbot. After the Olympian side won the Battle, John and Theo left Manhattan together to find their own place.


Comments:
Okay, Theo’s a bit overpowered and not as well-developed as John. Her powers are a bit iffy so you may want to go through those again. Add a teensy-bit more to the background (like the thing with Kronos' army). Theo's not a bad OC, per se. She's just not really sitting well with me but I can't really pinpoint why.

Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel

Notes