The Original Character Court
Jennie Clark
Basics
Name: Jennie Clark
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Birthday: April 1
Ethnicity: Canadian-Faint french accent.
Hair color: Blonde, it usually seems to be Platinum blonde but it's actually slightly darker.
[Why does it seem platinum blonde?]
Eye color: One eye is a dark shade of lilac and the other is a light violet.
[Heterochromia but not really? And I'm pretty sure violet isn't an actual eye color so I'm going to have to say no to this]
Height: 1.62
[I'm assuming this is in meters]
Weight: 56
[I'm assuming this is in kg. Guys, please put the units]
Other physical descriptions: Has a scar going across her left cheek-bone, got it in the car crash that killed her step-mom Kira.
Various scars and scabs on her arms and hands from training in camp Half-blood.
Small barely visible frecles on her nose, and a mole just above her right eyebrow
[*freckles]
Sexual orientation: homosexual
[Hello representation. It's always nice to see you.]
Godly parent: Hecate
Mortal parent: Doug Clark
Other relationships:
Personality
Positive traits:
Negative traits:
Fears/Phobias: She was always Nyctophobic since she was small. [Why? Traumatic experience or is she just inherently like that?]
She became Claustrophobic when she was caught in a car-crash that killed Kira, when the car flipped and she was stuck.
Fatal Flaw: Stubborn, thinks she is always right, doesn't easily accept opinions oppisite of her own.
[*opposite. I can see how this one can play out. Can you flesh this out a bit more?]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-Blood
Weapon of choice: Her weapon of choice is a sword.
She has a celestial bronze sword, the blade is 1 meter long.
[If this is supposed to be a Greek sword (specifically the Xiphos), it's too long. Xiphos are typically 50-60 cm long.
The handle is a deep purple dyed leather, and the blade has fire designs carved into it. It doesn't fold or morph into anything magically but she uses the mist to make it look like an aluminum baseball bat with a purple handle.
Jennie got the hephaestus cabin to make it for her.
Other weapons: Likes to use throwing knives. Pretty good at it too.
Bow and arrow. Not preffered but good at it.
[*preferred]
Powers and Abilities: Mystiokinesis: She can cast and control magic, not very good at it, but she manages from time to time.
Control over the mist: Can do it up to a point, not as good as Hazel.
Backstory:
Jennie grew up in the upper class, with maids and tutors. Her father worked alot
[*a lot]
as a hotel manager, but when he always made time to hang out with Jennie.
[*but he always made time]
He knew that someday he'd have to give Jennie to camp half-blood, so he tried to spend as much time as he could with her.
Then when Jennie was around 6 years old, her father got married to a woman named Kira.
Jennie at first hated Kira, she constantly played pranks that ended up with Kira either having something ruined or injured. By the time Jennie was 8 she finally gave up on the tricks and accepted Kira as her new mom.
[Why?]
Then the fateful day of her 12th birthday came up.
[Fateful day. Please don't use that.]
Her father had taken his whole family to up-state new york with him on a buisiness trip, Jennie only went with the promise that he would take her out to dinner.
Kira was taking her to a near-by shopping mall to buy a dress for her birthday dinner. Suddenly an empousai attacks the car they were in, resulting in a car crash which killed the driver and Kira. Jennie survived and ran into the woods, where an aura found her and led her to camp half-blood.
She still sends and recieves letters from her father, but she's too scared to visit him, thinking that going near him may result in a monster killing him.
She also has a history of arsony in the camp. She set the Demeter cabin on fire, but it was put out before it got out of control.
[Why did she set the cabin on fire?]
Comments:
Lacks a lot of detail. Not that bad, actually, but it's pretty hard to grasp this character. Some parts in the personality contradict. Relationships weren't explained (Why's she friends with Ethan. When did she encounter Octavian? Octavian's Roman. Luke? Who are the other two people? Why Will Solace? Etc.,)
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
Name: Jennie Clark
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Birthday: April 1
Ethnicity: Canadian-Faint french accent.
Hair color: Blonde, it usually seems to be Platinum blonde but it's actually slightly darker.
[Why does it seem platinum blonde?]
Eye color: One eye is a dark shade of lilac and the other is a light violet.
[Heterochromia but not really? And I'm pretty sure violet isn't an actual eye color so I'm going to have to say no to this]
Height: 1.62
[I'm assuming this is in meters]
Weight: 56
[I'm assuming this is in kg. Guys, please put the units]
Other physical descriptions: Has a scar going across her left cheek-bone, got it in the car crash that killed her step-mom Kira.
Various scars and scabs on her arms and hands from training in camp Half-blood.
Small barely visible frecles on her nose, and a mole just above her right eyebrow
[*freckles]
Sexual orientation: homosexual
[Hello representation. It's always nice to see you.]
Godly parent: Hecate
Mortal parent: Doug Clark
Other relationships:
- Half-Siblings: Lou Ellen.
- Step-Mom: Kira Clark (Maiden name Kira Li).
- Friends: Alexia [Who the frilly hell is this?], Callie[and this?], Will Solace[Why?], Ethan Nakamura [What?].
- Enemies: Luke [Huh? When did this happen?], Octavian [???].
Personality
Positive traits:
- Jennie is very polite, due to her heritage. [Hecate? Polite? So far those two don't seem to fit so...]
- She is very honest, and loyal to her friends.
- Stands up for what she believes in.
- Strong-minded.
Negative traits:
- Stubborn. [Matches the strong-minded bit]
- Always says exactly what is on her mind. [Fits the honest bit]
- Thinks she knows better than everyone else, and she wont listen unless proven wrong. [This sort of clashes with the polite, part.]
Fears/Phobias: She was always Nyctophobic since she was small. [Why? Traumatic experience or is she just inherently like that?]
She became Claustrophobic when she was caught in a car-crash that killed Kira, when the car flipped and she was stuck.
Fatal Flaw: Stubborn, thinks she is always right, doesn't easily accept opinions oppisite of her own.
[*opposite. I can see how this one can play out. Can you flesh this out a bit more?]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-Blood
Weapon of choice: Her weapon of choice is a sword.
She has a celestial bronze sword, the blade is 1 meter long.
[If this is supposed to be a Greek sword (specifically the Xiphos), it's too long. Xiphos are typically 50-60 cm long.
The handle is a deep purple dyed leather, and the blade has fire designs carved into it. It doesn't fold or morph into anything magically but she uses the mist to make it look like an aluminum baseball bat with a purple handle.
Jennie got the hephaestus cabin to make it for her.
Other weapons: Likes to use throwing knives. Pretty good at it too.
Bow and arrow. Not preffered but good at it.
[*preferred]
Powers and Abilities: Mystiokinesis: She can cast and control magic, not very good at it, but she manages from time to time.
Control over the mist: Can do it up to a point, not as good as Hazel.
Backstory:
Jennie grew up in the upper class, with maids and tutors. Her father worked alot
[*a lot]
as a hotel manager, but when he always made time to hang out with Jennie.
[*but he always made time]
He knew that someday he'd have to give Jennie to camp half-blood, so he tried to spend as much time as he could with her.
Then when Jennie was around 6 years old, her father got married to a woman named Kira.
Jennie at first hated Kira, she constantly played pranks that ended up with Kira either having something ruined or injured. By the time Jennie was 8 she finally gave up on the tricks and accepted Kira as her new mom.
[Why?]
Then the fateful day of her 12th birthday came up.
[Fateful day. Please don't use that.]
Her father had taken his whole family to up-state new york with him on a buisiness trip, Jennie only went with the promise that he would take her out to dinner.
Kira was taking her to a near-by shopping mall to buy a dress for her birthday dinner. Suddenly an empousai attacks the car they were in, resulting in a car crash which killed the driver and Kira. Jennie survived and ran into the woods, where an aura found her and led her to camp half-blood.
She still sends and recieves letters from her father, but she's too scared to visit him, thinking that going near him may result in a monster killing him.
She also has a history of arsony in the camp. She set the Demeter cabin on fire, but it was put out before it got out of control.
[Why did she set the cabin on fire?]
Comments:
Lacks a lot of detail. Not that bad, actually, but it's pretty hard to grasp this character. Some parts in the personality contradict. Relationships weren't explained (Why's she friends with Ethan. When did she encounter Octavian? Octavian's Roman. Luke? Who are the other two people? Why Will Solace? Etc.,)
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
I am SO sorry for your loss. I havent lost too many people in my life, but i have lost enough to know its a horrible thing to go through. Are you going to continue The Original Character Court without her?
5/15/16