Submitted by: MrJoker20
Basics
Name: John Vito Talbot
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Birthday: April 21st, 1990
Ethnicity: Mixture of English-Welsh and Italian
[Matches the name]
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Green
[This seems like a recurring thing for PJO OCs]
Other physical descriptions: John is a young, slightly unshaven man of average build with medium-length dark hair which tend to sometimes obscure his eyes. He has olive skin, prominent but pinched nose, large green eyes (a common trait of Hecate's children),
[Okay, that explains it]
which seemed to be a little feminine, and thin lips. He is rather lean but with no prominent muscle and has a small mole under the lower lip. Due to an accident, he cannot fully straighten the fingers of his left hand.
[It would probably help if you expound on that accident]

John's usual clothing consists of a plain t-shirt, a black leather jacket, pair of running shoes, gray socks and jeans. He wears a necklace with three bear claws in it (a gift from his grandfather), a silver ring with green gem on his right index finger and two small earrings in each ear.
[I'm assuming the jewelry's purely for aesthetic. That's nice. Shows personality in a way]

Height: 183 cm (6'0")
Weight: 75 kg (165 lb)
[Healthy combination]
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
[Hello representation!]

Godly parent: Hecate
[An underused goddess. Nice pick.]
Mortal parent: Christopher Talbot

Other relationships:
Grandfather: Franco Mastino (87) - Famous stage magician and a former WWII soldier. In his youth, he used to be a part of the Mastino Famiglia - one of the smaller groups of the Sicilian mafia. After escaping to America and changing his name to Franklin Talbot, he became an entertainer to support himself and his wife, Cecilia Flint. He has great contact with his grandson and even to this day, when John takes the lead of his own organization, he is seen as valuable adviser and father-figure to everyone. He can be often found performing in Las Vegas.
[Sounds like a great guy]

Friends:
Zachary "Zack" Rakan (19) - Son of Ares. Zack and John are almost like brothers to each other; they never waste opportunity to prove that one is stronger/faster/more agile than the other. Zack is impulsive and loud but posses a great military intellect that seems to complete John's theories.
[Healthy friendship. That's good.]

Theodora "Theo" McGuiness (21) - Daughter of Aphrodite.
[OH. Okay. Confusion cleared.]
John met her during the Battle for Manhattan, as part of Kronos' army. After she decided to abandon the Titans, she took shelter in an abandon coffee shop, where John was calmly observing the battle.
[For strategic purposes? Or just for fun?]
At first, Theodora deemed him as enemy and attacked but was quickly calmed down and the two had a pleasant conversation while watching the blood being shed.
[Slightly disturbing. You might want to edit this.]
After Kronos' defeat, Theodora and John decided to leave Manhattan together. They've started dating after few weeks.
[Some people can quickly form relationships after being stuck together in stressful situations so I suppose this is plausible.]

Stephanie "Seth" Walker (19) - Daughter of Nemesis. Originally, they started as enemies when Seth tried to steal from John who was on a quest to recover the Seal of Themis.
[Did you make up this artifact or was it mentioned in the myths? Either way, you should probably expound on what this is and what it does.]
After a small fight (and a round of skipping rocks), Seth decided to hang out with John. At first, it was just to annoy him and learn more about her mother. She could feel he would provide her with answers. At the end of the quest, Seth proved to be a valuable ally and was offered a place at the Talbot Family's house which she accepted.
[Again, a good friendship where they simultaneously balance and challenge each other. Keeps things interesting.]

Enemies:
Delroy "Papa" La Croix (79) - Jamaican shaman (legacy of Hecate) and John's former mentor, who introduced him to the world of dark magic. Proficient necromancer, he uses mindless zombies to carry out his orders.
[Oh so that's where the zombie came from. Okay.]
Aside from being a shaman, La Croix is a very successful drug lord with vast net of contacts and influences in various branches of criminal underworld. Despite being on negative terms, he is willing to occasionally help John if the current events threaten his business.
[Sounds like an interesting bad guy.]

Laura Smith (18) - Daughter of Hermes and Papa La Croix's next protégée. John met her only once, when he was investigating La Croix's recent activities. Laura managed to sneak behind him and stab him with a dagger, before John could attack. She's cocky, always ready to fight and never admits her own mistakes.
[Oh! A rivalry! And with a girl! I can see how this could possibly play out.]


Personality
Positive traits: John comes off as a level-headed individual; in the face of danger or in a situation worthy of great amounts of stress, John keeps a small smirk etched upon his face.
[I hate to say this but this seems to be a recurring trope for PJO OCs but if you can pull it off and still make him unique, this would be very interesting.]
However, in spite of this, John does have his own moral code and despises people who pretend to be what they are not.
[Nice save.]

He does, however, have a kind, caring side which, although barely shown, wins over many people. He is also very protective of those he cares about; when he learned that a zombie has attacked his girlfriend, Theo, he tied him up and threw him out of the window (several times) despite the creature not feeling any pain.
[Wait what?]
Negative traits: John is a foul-mouthed cynic.
[Fits the personality]
His motivation has been attributed to an adrenaline addiction that only the strange and mystical can sate. He is also often called "Walking Trap for Trouble" by his close friends. He has a sarcastic sense of humor and tends to speak down to people around him; this is his way of making them do the physical work that he does not wish to do. He is a strong follower of consequentialism and believes that "the end justifies the means".
[Ah. Machiavellian. Nice.]

Despite his good traits, John is not above killing somebody if pushed and often warns people to never fully trust him. He claims to be dishonest and having complete lack of mortality, being able to sacrifice someone's health and/or life in order to complete his goals.
[Fits the whole Machiavellian vibe he's giving off.]

Fears/Phobias: John is extremely claustrophobic; it begun when, as a form of training from Papa La Croix, he was supposed to escape a small box filled with snakes. Since that day, he gets uncomfortable and may have attacks of panic, when trapped in an enclosed space. This may lead to his powers getting out of control and damaging everything in the vicinity.
[Well-explained and already with some backstory!]

This also has connection to his second fear: insecurity about his own powers.
[Oh this can be dangerous.]
John is really capable sorcerer who doesn't hesitate to use both White and Dark Magic to complete his goals. He does, however, has this guilt deep inside him that one day he may lose control and hurt people who put his trust in him. This forces him to often turn people down and undertake all the quests and jobs on his own.
[If I had panic attacks that make me lose control, I'd turn people down too]

John is also concerned about death and is afraid of the Furies. During one of his jobs, he was forced to sacrifice several mortal lives in order to banish a daemon back to Tartarus. Afterwards, he was often visited and warned by the Kindly Ones that he already has his place reserved at the Fields of Punishment. The spirits of revenge were mocking him and trying to force him to commit more crimes in order to seal his fate. After mastering protective magic, John learned to lock his mind from the Furies' whispering but the hesitation in his heart still remained.
[Yikes. That sounds like a logical fear. Or at least, as logical as the demigod world gets.]

Fatal Flaw: John's most dangerous flaw is his inability to make choices. One could establish a connection through this to Hecate, being the goddess of crossroads; John constantly analyzes things, creates new possibilities, returns to the 'what-if-s' and the 'might-have-been-s'. He is always aware of possible dangers and worries how to handle them. He cannot let go of fear and realization that he can't always guarantee anyone absolute security. This may force him to pick an option which only seems to be the safe one but will ultimately result in sacrificing much more than other options would.
[Also, given the whole insecurity with his powers thing, I can see how this can play out. This is actually a unique flaw. Good job, man!]

Combat-related questions
Camp: N/A
Weapon of choice: As a magic user, John Vito Talbot uses a large variety of magical, cursed or enchanted objects. Some of them are only for a single usage, others may be used repetitively.

The only weapon John uses on a regular basis is a parazonium; a traditional Roman dagger made from silver with runes inscribed on both sides of the blade. Created by Fergus, legacy of Vulcan, it has the ability to harm both immortals and werewolves. The enchantments on the blade makes it vanish, if used against a mortal.
[Okay. Sounds interesting. The weapon seems to be well-researched. I rarely see PJO OCs who uses parazoniums. Usually they use the standard gladius or katanas (which piss me off).]

Powers and Abilities:
Mystiokinesis: John, being the son of Hecate, is able to use the art of sorcery and witchcraft; he is able to sense and gather the energy around him (or “borrow” it from the gods by praying) in order to perform variety of reality-shaping effects. Most of the magic spells, however, require a special ritual to be performed in order to work. Also, usually there is a need to utilize magical items.

Mist Control: As a son of Hecate, John is able to influence and control the Mist. This allows him to manipulate the perceptions of mortals and, to some degree, monsters. Some of his abilities connected with the Mist include:
•Illusion Creation: By cloaking the mind with the Mist, John can cause targets to see, hear, touch, smell and/or taste things which do not actually exist or cause them to perceive things differently from what they truly are.
•Memory Manipulation: To prevent mortals from seeing the immortal world, John is able to implant memories into the minds of others, which could either be pre-existing memories from someone else, or false memories created by him.
•Concealment: John is able to use the Mist to direct the attention away from himself, rendering him unnoticeable. Particularly intelligent and observant people may develop immunity to this effect. Once a person becomes aware of a Concealment (i.e. a third party tell them), the effect disappears.
[Good job at nuking this ability so it's not too overpowered. :) ]
•Mist Travel: Also known as Typhoportation; it allows John to merge into the Mist and use it as a medium of transportation. He can jump small distances without a problem; bigger travels require usage of a place where there is a large concentration of the Mist (i.e. the Stonehenge).
[All the abilities make sense given his godly parent. Good job. This was obviously well-researched.]

Backstory:
John Vito Talbot was born on April 24th, 1990. From the very beginning, he was raised by his grandfather Franco. His father, Christopher, was quite renowned archeologist and has been spending lots of time in different countries, visiting new digging places and sharing his opinions about them. Despite that, he would frequently write letters to his son, share pictures of his new discoveries and, occasionally, send a small fossil to the boy’s collection. Grandpa Franco was, at that time, one of the most famous stage magicians in the world and would often show John amazing tricks involving cards and coins disappearing, flowers turning into balloons and guessing the numbers or names John has chosen. This made the young boy become enamored with illusion and magic tricks. He was trained by grandpa Franco since he was six and soon was able to perform complex tricks to amaze his friends and teachers at school.
[This is cute and heartwarming. It's a good interaction and it doesn't seem forced.]

When John was twelve, he had a serious conversation with his grandfather. Over coffee, they've talked about the old Greek myths John enjoyed so much when he was younger. It was at that time when Franco decided to reveal the cards: John was a son of Greek goddess Hecate. At first, of course, the boy didn't want to believe it but then grandpa showed him true magic - it wasn't any illusion or sleigh-of-hand, it was actual sorcery. It turned out, Franco Mastino was Hecate's grandson and was using his abilities to shield himself and John from monsters.
[Wait. Does that mean Hecate did the nasty with her great-grandson? *tries not to think about it* *fails* IDK, man, I think you should have just made him a legacy of Hecate. It works just as well.]

And so it begun - John's magical training. He has been practicing reading ancient texts, brewing potions, casting spells and learning more than he knew before about Greek mythology. In the meantime, after school, John enlisted in the local kickboxing club. It was there where he met Zack Rakan, whom he become sparring partners with. The boys quickly became friends but during summer vacation Zack had to leave for some kind of camp so John has been left with grandfather to practice more magic.

One day, on those rare occasions when his father was at home, John found him and grandpa Franco arguing about him. Christopher wanted his son to become an intern for his benefactor, Delroy La Croix, who was responsible for Christopher's recent expeditions. Franco protested, saying that La Croix's influence will bring nothing but trouble on John. Despite that, Christopher handed John the application and told him to visit Mr. La Croix as soon as possible.

Delroy La Croix turned out to be more than just a rich businessman. He was, in fact, a legacy of Hecate and an old friend of John's grandfather. He offered to teach the boy way more than just simple business tricks; he was going to teach him magic and shape him into the future voodoo priest who would spread his teachings all over the country. At first, everything seemed fine; John was both working as La Croix's assistant and learning secrets of voodoo and black magic. Nothing seemed out of ordinary and it was at that time when John learned that magic, like the world, is not only black and white and - if given a proper reason - breaking rules and use illegal ways to achieve goal may be the most effective. Because of his frequent trainings with La Croix, John's relationships with his grandfather gradually become worse. Franco wanted to persuade John to abandon the Dark Arts entirely but John believed this is also a way of magic, therefore it shouldn't be neglected.

After one of his trainings, John was waiting for Mr. La Croix in his office. There, in a pile of papers, he noticed a file entitled Operation O. Out of sheer curiosity he read it and discovered the truth; Delroy La Croix was supplying the Titan Lord Kronos with his zombies, magical items and a specific drug called The Joker which was supposed to make demigods more open to suggestions and serve the Titans without hesitation. The plan also described detailed attack on the Olympian gods and the ultimate destruction of Mount Olympus. Then, Kronos was supposed to grant La Croix immortality and present him with his own army to locate and kill Franco Mastino, AKA Frank Talbot. Enraged, John stole the entire file and, by preparing very elaborate magical trap, set La Croix's office on fire. He then walked out of the office like nothing happened and, when the smoke started spreading, used the commotion to escape.

John returned to his grandfather with Operation O file and resumed his magical training. He was, of course, using only White Arts however he didn't forget La Croix's teachings and searched for a way of utilizing them for the right path. Two years later, at 16, grandpa Franco introduced John to one of his friends - Fergus Stein, legacy of Vulcan. From that moment, John learned that it’s not only Greek gods who spread their influence but there have also been Roman ones leaving their mark on the world.

(I'm still working on the backstory and the actual stories of their lives)
[The backstory's good so far.]

Comments:
Obviously a lot of thought was put into this OC. There are a few things that probably could have expounded upon but seeing as to what you wrote (the backstory portion), I can let that pass since you're most likely to do just that. This is actually one of the best OCs I've read. He's not overpowered. His powers have just the right limitations. His personality is believable and his interactions with people are plausible. His fatal flaw is interesting and unique. If you post a story about this guy, link me to it. I'd love to read it. I can proof-read it too.

Final judgement: Isles of the Blest

Notes

Okay, some of the comments may sound confusing but that's because I wrote them before re-arranging them. I read the personality segment first before the relationships segment. Just clearing that up.