The Original Character Court

11:25 PM. I finally finished my essay. Unfortunately, I drank too many caffeinated drinks so now I'm pumped. Might as well do a few reviews since my girlfriend's asleep.
Submitted by: TheHangedMan
Basics
Name: Norman Bowie
Age: 18 (Blood of Olympus)
[What do you mean by the Blood of Olympus bit? He's 18 during Blood of Olympus?]
Gender: Male
Birthday: August 4, 1991
Ethnicity: American
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Black
[Suddenly very suspicious]
Height: 185 cm
Weight: 76 kg
Other physical descriptions: Norman has calloused fingers and hands. Small scars are littered across his body; the only one's prominent enough to notice, however, is the scar that runs across the right side of his neck and the scar struck across his forehead.
[How'd he get those?]
Sexual orientation: Isabella
[Um... what? If his love interest's name is Isabella, his sexual orientation can't be Isabella. Sexual orientations include (but not limited to): bisexual, homosexual (like myself), pansexual, heterosexual]
Godly parent: None (Mortal)
[Okay now I'm very, very, suspicious]
Mortal parent: None (Orphan)
Other relationships:
Aphrodite (Alma-Mater/Adoptive Mother, Godly Matron) - originally spurred on to help Norman due to his unshakable love for Isabella - which allowed him to all but ignore Aphrodite's charms - she eventually came to genuinely care for him. She is responsible for introducing him to Orion, Herakles and many others that would assist Norman in the future.
[Orion. You do know that Orion's a horrible Titan who can't handle rejection. And Heracles is a bitter jerk? Also, there needs to be better reason than his "unshakable love for Isabella". Aphrodite finds those boring.]

Isabella Torres (Daughter of Ares, formerly a Huntress of Artemis, Lover, Fiance, Center of the World) - an aggressive and head-strong girl who he group
[*grew]
up with as an orphan. Separated initially because of the gap between the human and demigod worlds, but then further on, when she realized that Norman was forcibly inserting himself into the world of demigods for her sake, she panicked and became a Hunter of Artemis to dissuade him from pursuing her. It didn't work in the slightest.
[Norman sounds like a stalker who doesn't know how to give a girl her space. It's not romantic. It's creepy. Modern day media tends to romanticize that.]

Orion (Master, Instructor - from Pre-Titans Curse until the start of Lost Hero) His greatest mentor and the one person who significantly boosted Normans abilities as a hunter. Norman, prior to Orion's revival, never actually met him physically - Aphrodite, through the frequent help of Asteria and Morpheus brought the two together to train. They eventually formed a strong bond as master and apprentice, and Orion greatly wished to help Norman succeed where he failed.
[Orion's a jerk. He wouldn't bother helping demigods. He resents them. He scorns them. This doesn't make sense.]

Herakles (Archery mentor, Friend - from Pre-Lost Hero until Mark of Athena) - perfected Norman's archery skills to the point where he could match Apollo, Orion and Artemis,
[No. Heracles isn't an archery master. Yes, he's good but his skills can't match up to the three you mentioned much less train someone to reach those skill levels.]
Herakles is another person that Norman greatly respects. Despite initially butting heads, the two realized that they had a lot more in common than they thought - their inability to empathize with people being one common trait they had.

Artemis (Nemesis until Post-Last Olympian) - due to his relentless pursuit of Isabella despite her status as a Huntress, he and Artemis where constantly arguing with each other - it was only protection from Ares and Aphrodite that prevented him from being forced into becoming an animal.
[Why would he have Ares' protection? Pretty sure Ares would doubt every person in love with any of his children. Norman would need to prove himself by doing something super dangerous.]
After the Second Titanomachy, he managed to gained
[*gain]
both her and her brothers
[*brother's]
respect through his actions during the war,
[which was?]
and earned enough of her respect to get her to accept his challenge. The challenge was a hunt - whoever could capture Grover the Satyr first wins.
[CAPTURE GROVER? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NO]
If he lost, then he had to give up on Isabella forever, if he won, then Isabella was free to relinquish her vows.
[Oh and let me guess. Norman won. He really doesn't know how to accept a girl's decisions, eh. I can't even read the rest of the relationships. I'm assuming he has 0 realistic enemies. I s2g.]

Lina (Harpy, housekeeper, friend) - a harpy he saved from wild centaurs. She isn't very bright, but her cheerful personality and her strange existence as the one person who Norman could understand perfectly made her an irreplaceable part of his life. She currently cleans his apartment and collects information for him when she can.

Joe Sharps (Son of Hermes, Landlord, publicly his father) a sharp but cranky man. As a demigod, he's not very powerful, but he's very skilled at avoiding unwanted attention. In the past he was helped by Aphrodite and owed her a favor, but he was eventually forgotten. Aphrodite remembered him by coincidence and enlisted his help in making sure that Norman's daily life wasn't impeded because of his frequent outings (which was actually him improving his hunting skills by going after dangerous monsters)

Henry Loraine, Bambi Cruz, Rick Deen & Ridley Potts (Children of Aphrodite, constant pains in the ass, former bullies, currently grudging allies) - they were his childhood bullies. Though they were all children of Aphrodite, they had no idea about the relationship between their mother and Norman until later. They only met again years later, during the Second Titanomachy, and Norman saved them from being trampled by a dragon (not drakon) they have been his grudging allies since then.

Octavian (Friend, Sponsor for New Rome - Pre-Sea of Monsters) - during his first trip to New Rome with Aphrodite as his guide, Norman helped a younger Octavian fend-off a pack of Hellhounds with Michael Kahale. At New Rome, with Aphrodite as his Matron and Octavian as his sponsor, he gained access to New Rome equipment and Michael Kahale as his first instructor
[I s2g. Your character screams Gary Stu.]

Michael Kahale (Friend, first trainer, Sparring Partner - Pre-Sea of Monsters) - see above. He was particularly useful in teaching how to fight other demigods.

Florian Daclan (Daughter of Hestia, S?P?O?I?L?E?R?) - first met inside a cathedral during the Second Gigantomachy. Both Lina and Joe were wary of her, and for some reason both felt like she was in no-way inferior to a god, despite the fact that she was mortal - an impression further solidified after she the protection she placed on the cathedral vaporized three large drakon.


Personality
Positive traits: Single-minded [no kidding] and decisive when it comes to work and relationships. The concept of 'quitting' is unknown to him [understatement] and at best, he'd just take a break to recover then try again. He never takes too long in making a decision. These traits also makes him a hard-worker in whatever he endeavors in, to the point where it's expected that when he sets a goal, expect him to achieve it.
A calm person that, barring a few exceptions, does not easily get intimidated or provoked - not even when facing the gods or titans.
He is brave and unafraid to clash head-first with danger, so long as it is needed.
Loyalty is a core trait of his character and he refuses to leave those close to him alone in their time of need, no matter what dangers he has to face.
A meticulous and careful planner that very rarely leaves anything to chance. He plans everything down to the last detail and executes his plans with the same amount of precision.
[a lot of traits that normally wouldn't be found in one person.]

Negative traits: His single-mindedness becomes a hindrance when it comes to making new relationships, and an even bigger hindrance when it comes to teamwork: He is not by any means cold or aloof, but his difficulty in accepting new people into his world causes him to act like a lone wolf.
[Yet he still becomes friends with Octavian of all people. Octavian would find him very irritating. They wouldn't get along.]
This same single-mindedness also makes him a tad inflexible - once he's decided on a goal, whether it's for the best or not, he do whatever it takes to finish it.
[Yep. Definitely a creeper.]
He is not very good at relating with people; his difficulty with empathizing with other people causes him to either misunderstand or outright miss the intentions of other people. This impacts the loyalty he shows to his loved ones negatively as well: it is very difficult for him to understand that they *want* to be left alone.
[Good that you acknowledge that. Unfortunately, it's being put under the spotlight.]
Despite being a meticulous planner, he is prone to being swayed by his emotions, especially when it concerns someone close to him.

Fears/Phobias:
Norman has three (3) great fears:

Atychiphobia (Fear of Failure), Autophobia (Fear of Isolation) and Tokophobia (Fear of Childbirth/Pregnancy)
[explain, explain, explain. Fear of Isolation yet he seems to isolate himself.]

Fatal Flaw:
Severe Tunnel Vision - although it's obvious from just those three words, Norman when pursuing a goal, gets a case of very, very, bad tunnel vision. He becomes ignorant to the consequences of his actions for others and unless someone points it out to him, he might not even notice the other effects of what he's doing asides the one's he wants to see.
[no kidding.]

Combat-related questions
Camp: None (Ally of Camp Jupiter)
[You do know how strict Camp Jupiter is, right? They'll be especially strict with mortals.]
Weapon of choice: His weapon of choice is a lightly decorated enchanted silver longbow. It was shaped by Hephaestus from the minerals of a star
[Stars are just spheres of plasma held together by gravity. It has hydrogen and helium at its very center. Those elements are useless in making weapons (pointed out by a science-oriented person I met on this site who doesn't want her identity to be revealed).]
at Aphrodite's request, and enchanted by Hecate.
[no]
Despite its status as a 'longbow' it is virtually usable in any distance.
[A longbow is called such because of its size (and yes, it's range is quite far). However, bows, in general, are usable at any distance. Do you even know how bows work?]
He obtained the weapon after fulfilling three quests for Aphrodite, Hephaestus and Hecate - the total time he took to complete the quest was a year and a half, and he managed this before the Battle of the Labyrinth.
Other weapons: Dagger made of Imperial Gold. Designed like a Bowie Knife and 11 inches long.
Arrows of Cupid/Eros - primarily uses this against monsters, to surprisingly great effect. [Why the heck. *throws "Mythology by Edith Hamilton" at you*]
Celestial Bronze Spear - stolen from a Camp Half-Blood member as she was knocked out after an encounter with Empousi. He killed the Empousi, dumped the CHB person in the nearest police station then kept the spear.
[wat. That's sick.]
Powers and Abilities: Master Hunter - his abilities in tracking, trapping and chasing after his prey are just a step below Artemis and Orion's own. By honing his senses, he can trace the signatures of magical creatures across great distances - this is because his ability to See Mist is enhanced to the point where individual presences become distinct to him.
[How long did it take him to do this? Because it would take more than five years to hone your senses.]

God-level Archery - ignoring divine abilities, Norman can compete evenly with - or perhaps even surpass - Artemis, Orion and Apollo. He can hit a target from any distance so long as his bow can manage, from any position - even while jumping around or from behind, and is even proficient enough to use his archery as a close range weapon, and he can fire at speeds comparable to a gun. This comes from nothing but training with Herakles and Orion.
[NOOOOOOOOOOO]

Blessing of Aphrodite - if he is fighting to defend a loved one or fighting for love, Aphrodite, as his Matron, can temporarily give him a blessing; rather than the regular 'emotion manipulation', however, he get something more akin to Aeneas - limitless stamina, a boost in power, ferocity, etc. Since he is not a true child of Aphrodite, the effect barely lasts longer than five minutes.
[Aphrodite doesn't give emotion manipulation. Did you even read the fucking book?]

Backstory:
Norman was abandoned on the steps of an orphanage [] before he could walk. It was not necessarily a bad place to grow up in, but it wasn't the best place either; with so many kids to take care of, the nuns of the orphanage, despite being caring, could hardly delegate their time into giving them the special treatment only a mother could give.

As for Norman himself, he wasn't particularly good at socializing either. He had a hard time understanding the other kids, and the other kids had a hard time understanding him, because of this, most of the kids had a habit of avoiding him and doing their best to not have to interact with him. This of course, wasn't a very good thing for the young Norman. He hated being alone. He didn't understand other people very well, but that didn't mean he was antisocial, in fact, he craved the company of others. Despite his wishes, however, he was isolated from the kids of the orphanage for nearly three years, and gave up at trying to talk with people again.

At that time, Isabella Torres appeared.

She was an orphaned at five years old, her parents were victimized by a bear during a family outing. Somehow, she managed to stay alive, along with four others who were victimized in that outing.
[victimized is such a terrible word to use]

For a girl that had just recently been orphaned, she was rather . . . spirited.
[get rid of the ellipses]
She was loud, abrasive, aggressive and over all, she was a person you just couldn't ignore (or else do so at your own risk) - naturally, such a person would be interested in the one kid that everyone seemed to avoid.
[naturally]

Much like the others, Norman had a hard time understanding Isabella's actions and intentions, however, unlike the others that hardly seemed to matter to her. The girl broke through any awkward situations with the sheer force of her character, and dragged Norman around despite his wishes - which, in hindsight, is probably what brought him out of his funk and got him started interacting with people again.

The girl was the light of his life. Norman's life, his gray, uncolored life was thrust into a new spectrum of existence because of her presence. She would go on random adventures with him, pick fights with dogs, and do all sorts of crazy things. If time were to just stop at that point int time, Norman would have been completely happy.

Of course, it was obvious that this would not last long - the universe seems to have a habit of keeping happiness in check. When the two of them were ten years old, for some reason Isabella began avoiding Norman, while the four that came with her began ganging up on him. She would defend him, but she would stop at just that. Norman was panicking - what if she left him?

The truth of the matter came out eventually - five demigod scents were very difficult to mask, after all.

They came in large numbers - monsters, straight out of Greek legend. Isabella and the others knew already of course; the same satyr that was dead on their feet informed them months ago. The monsters surrounded them, and Norman, who refused to leave Isabella (or allow her to leave him - he was possessive at the time) got caught up in the ambush.

He tried to protect her. He failed. Not only was he injured and close to dying by being strangled by a bear-man thing, he had also failed to protect Isabella - instead, the girl had taken a much more fatal blow that was meant for him.

The group was only saved by the timely arrival of three demigods. They managed to drag them back into the camp - with the exception of Norman, who remained stewing in the orphanage.

He knew now, of course, about that other world. About the world Isabella now had to live in. A world where he wasn't invited, where he couldn't do anything, all because he was unlucky to be born a mortal.

Norman . . . refused to believe that.
[get rid of the ellipses]
There was no way he would allow something like a lack of divinity dictate what he could and could not do. So Isabella didn't want him to get hurt? Fine, he decided, he would become strong, strong enough to compete with demigods, strong enough to watch over her and protect her.
[oh my god. respect her damn decision]

It was at this point in time that he caught the attention of Aphrodite. The Goddess of Love could practically feel his affection for Isabella pour of in waves. The Goddess, in her boredom, decided to give what she saw as an interesting love story a helping hand - in fact, everything up until the break-up was planned. What stopped her from completely toying with Norman and Isabella, however, was the fact that Norman was absolutely unaffected by her. This only happened when a kind of love that was both true and bordering on insane manifested in a person - only these kinds of people would completely ignore Aphrodite's charms.
[Well, your character is definitely a creepy stalker.]

The Goddess, her interest piqued to an even higher level, decided to take the whole affair bit more seriously (just a bit) and she became the gateway that guided a completely lost Norman the way to the world of demigods and monsters.
[*eyerolls into another dimension*]


Comments:
I forgot to ask my girlfriend but I checked the review of MrJoker20. Yep, I'm not biased. Your OC has way too many advantages and not enough disadvantages. The ones he actually has don't weaken him enough. Also, STALKER. His personality is terrible. Some points he sounds like Percy, at other points he sounds like Jason. Those two are well-balanced characters (Percy is debatable) with diverse personalities and different backgrounds. His abilities absolutely cannot surpass that of the gods. Also, CONTRADICTIONS! CONTRADICTIONS FUCKING EVERYWHERE!

Final judgement: Deepest, darkest, parts of Tartarus.

Notes