Submitted by: Omalpense [who apparently just changed his username to JunkyardMaterial)
Basics
Name: Oliver Anthony Sprawn
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Birthday: 11/14/97
Ethnicity: Italian/Irish (White)
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Blue/Green [which is it? Is it somewhere in between? If so, that's cyan.]
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 162 lbs
Other physical descriptions: A tattoo of a rubix cube on his shoulder. [why a rubix cube?]
He has no scars except one on his neck where he was almost decapitated by a snake woman when he was 13. The gods made it to never heal so he would be reminded of their presence for all his life.
[Why? Did he try to forget them or something? It sort of answers the question why it didn't heal but unfortunately, it opens a new set of questions.]
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Godly parent: Phantasos [The god of weird dreams Phantasos? Brother of Morpheus Phantasos? Son of Hypnos (If you're following Ovid's version) Phantasos? Huh. Interesting choice.]
Mortal parent: Ida Sprawn comes from an old fashioned family
[What do you mean by old-fashioned? There are several possible types of "old-fashioned"]
and was named Ida because her parents didn't want her to be swept up in the modern age of technology and laziness.
[Terrible stereotype and what does the name have to do with it?]
It rubbed off on her and she never desired technology. When Oliver was born, she never bought him any technology and instead taught him to be reliant on himself.
[You do know that clothing is considered technology. A house is technology. Anything man-made is essentially technology. This makes me picture a bunch of people living under a rock.]
Other relationships:
Alec Jenkins

Alec is a son of Ares, but you wouldn't know that by how he acts. He is less concerned with competition than his siblings. Alec is like a brother to Oliver.
[This OC sounds familiar. If it's who I think it is, then I'm not overly fond of this one.]

Jamie Kentin

Jamie is Oliver's half-brother. Jamie's father is Phantasos and his mother is Maria Kentin. He is laidback and calm. Jamie and Oliver share a limited mental link applied by Phantasos and they get along very well.
[Why'd Phantasos apply a mental link?]

Sadie Payne

Sadie is a daughter of Hecate. She is tough and resourceful, hard to beat in a fight. She and Oliver share a sibling-like relationship.

Keira Augustine

Keira is a daughter of Amphitrite. She is Oliver's girlfriend and they started dating when Oliver was 15. She can control mist (not Mist). She is also very athletic.
[Woah wait. Amphitrite? Based on mythology and Riordan's own description, Amphitrite wouldn't bother having demigod children. However, I'm not judging this OC so it won't affect your final judgement.]

The δαίμονας Twins (made up)

A set of twins who's origin is unknown. Oliver hates them because they are very hard to beat and they seem to have a personal reason to want to kill him. They are controlled by one mind. One of them is very strong and big, and the other is weak, but is supersmart and anaylzes a fight and it's opponent, listing their weaknesses and faults.
[Are these supposed Greek monsters/deities/whatever? If so, It's better if you didn't make any up since Greek and Roman mythology are rich with different monsters and minor gods/goddesses and other titans etc., Research first before making any.]

Personality
Positive traits: He has a way with words that has helped him get out of fights many times. He is smart and resourceful. He has a healthy sense of morality and knows where to stop in a fight. He knows his limit.
Negative traits: His way with words has gotten him in trouble too.
[How?]
Sometimes his sense of morality leaves him and is replaced with a sense of bloodshed that he cannot control. He can be nasty and rude to people he doesn't know.
Fears/Phobias: Pressuphobia < just made that up It means he is afraid of pressure and doesn't do well under pressure.
[I'm pretty sure there's a term for this. It escapes me right now. Anyway, based on description it complements positive and negative traits.
Fatal Flaw: He dwells on his mistakes and choices. This makes him unsure of himself and what he can do.
[Well, I can see how this would play out. I'm guessing his flaw makes him hesitate a lot and that moment's hesitation can make him lose something or someone. I'm just guessing here.]

Combat-related questions
Camp: Camp Half-Blood
Weapon of choice: Two plain daggers, each a foot long, given to him by his father, Phantasos, when he was fighting the minotaur.
[While he was fighting the Minotaur? A little impractical, just saying. And why is it always a Minotaur?]
Other weapons: Oliver prefers to use his daggers and is a master with short weapons like daggers. He has limited skill with other weapons.
Powers and Abilities:
Teleportation. Oliver does this by moving into a dream state
[What. Is it like Nightcrawler's where he enters some kind of alternate dimension and emerges at another side? But he uses dreams? please clarify. Because dream state makes me think of someone doing a meditative stance or smth]
and coming out somewhere else. Overuse of this will drive him insane.
[Why?]

Transformation. Oliver can transform himself into a rubix cube
[Why a Rubix cube of all items?]
because his father takes the form of inanimate objects in dreams. He finds this ability useless and almost never uses it.
[Why include it, then? And if it's so useless, why bother having it tattooed?]

Dream Control. Oliver has limited control of his dreams and of other people's dreams.
[Define the limit. It's pretty vague. I can't really understand what kind of control he'd have.]

Backstory:
*I have written this before but lost it. I apologize for any contradictions or confusing statements.
[I'll make sure to point them out]

Oliver was born in San Diego, California. As a baby, he was curious. His mother would often find him covered in dust in parts of their big house. Oliver came from a relatively wealthy family. His great-great-grandparents were immigrants from Italy
[Where'd the "Irish" come from?]
and they started a small farming business that grew over time to be big farming business, not much smaller than the biggest farming plantations of the time. Oliver's great-grandparents took over the business. Their watering systems were sabotaged by employees of rival farming businesses. People started getting sick from the food they produced and they were forced to sell the business to provide reimbursement.
Oliver was not spoiled as a boy. His mother, Ida Sprawn, did not allow him to use technology
[see my comment way up there.]
and encouraged him to be athletic, and not, by her words, became a 'Dough Sapien'. This helped him stay in shape.
When he was 9, his mother contracted cancer.
[What kind?]
He left school and started doing a paper route, mowing lawns, shoveling snow, and doing odd jobs
[like?]
to pay for his mother's hospital bill. She ultimately died when he was 12. Oliver was sent to an orphanage and continued doing odd jobs for money as he was planning his escape from the orphanage. (Cliche, I know.) A month before his 13th birthday, a snake lady(forgot the name)
[dracanae]
attacked the orphanage and went after Oliver. He was almost killed and got a scar on his neck that gods made sure never healed so he was reminded of their presence his entire life.
In the confusion of the snake lady attack, Oliver slipped away with his money and ran. He hitched a ride with a nice woman who was going to New York. He fell asleep at a pit stop in Ohio and the woman slipped a bag of sandwhiches and a $50 bill into his bag and left him inside the pit stop building(with the bathrooms and maps, you know?).
[If she was a nice lady, she wouldn't abandon him like that. Shit could happen to a twelve-year-old kid travelling alone.]
He was found in the morning by park officials and they were going to send him to an orphanage,
[case in point]
but he said his parents in the woods looking for him.
[It's a pretty weak excuse. Did those lackwits believed him? What did they do?]
He stole the keys to their truck from one of them
[how?]
and drove down the highway.
[He knows how to drive a fucking truck at thirteen? Pretty unrealistic since trucks are huge and heavy.]
The car ran out of gas an hour later in Columbus. He met a boy there who went to a private school.
[How exactly did they meet?]
They became friends until the school was attacked by the minotaur.
[wait so they were at the school?]
The boy, who was a satyr, told Oliver he was a demigod and told him the address of Camp before he was killed by the minotaur. Oliver ran and then his father gave him his two daggers.
[Uh... how did he know it was his father and not some crazy serial killer?]
Oliver used them to kill the minotaur and then was transported to Camp by his father. He spent the next year training and making friends at Camp. He met Keira Augustine, but their relationship didn't develop until after he went on a field trip to Olympus and was attacked by the δαίμονας twins.
[see comment in relationships. Also, can you explain why they want to kill him? "for some reason" leaves way too many openings.]
He was almost killed because the twins pursued them back to Camp. They were killed by Peleus the resident dragon.
He started dating Keira once he was fully recovered and stayed at Camp until the present day, when he's 16.

Comments:
Well, I pretty much said everything. Personality and parentage is fine. Unfortunately the powers and backstory are a bit iffy. The mental link was never explained. So yeah, make sure you have all the details fleshed out.

Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel

Notes