The Original Character Court
Perry Jackston
Submitted by: That_Dam_Persassy [for some reason, I'm doubting that it's actually That_Dam_Persassy. After the incident with MorningStar, I began checking the creator's profile. This OC doesn't fit the TDP's writing style. Can anyone bring light to this situation?]
Basics
Name: Perry Jackston
[seriously?]
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Birthday: Doesn't have one
[so he poofed out of thin air at some ambiguous point in time.]
Ethnicity: White
[that's not an ethnicity]
Hair color: Black with red streaks
[please be dyed]
Eye color: Gold that turn red when he's mad
[No.]
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 120 pounds
[healthy ratio]
Other physical descriptions: Scars all over his back from his many fights at school. [did someone whip him?] He has a tattoo of a fin on his back, showing anger towards them. [what?]
Sexual orientation: Gay
[Homosexual]
Personality
Positive traits: Perry is very kind and nice to his friends, but if you get in his bad side, he'll destroy you. He's also smart and an awesome fighter.
[Terrible description. Too cliched. Not enough.]
Negative traits: He doesn't have any, Exoceot his anger.
[*Except]
[Furthermore, this is impossible.]
Other Personality traits: None
[So he's a flat character.]
Fears/Phobias: He's scared of his mom, because she abused him, mad at his dad.
[Why's he mad at his dad? Also, put this in the backstory.]
Fatal Flaw: Perry's love. He would do anything for people he love,
[This is Percy Jackson's fatal flaw but you didn't expound on it, cite examples etc.,]
Family and Background
Godly Parent: Zeus, adopted my Hades
[Why would Hades adopt a Zeus kid? No.]
Mortal Parent: Sarah Jackston
[A play on Sally Jackson. Nice try.]
Other relationships: He is a only child.
Henrey Ardwood always bullied him at school,
Hades adopted Perry, so he has powers from both of them.
[Nope. That's not how genetics and adoption work.]
Backstory: Perry Jackston was born and raised in Ohio. His mother always abusing him and he was always bullied. He became depressed and ran away.
[Do you understand the gravity of depression?]
After killing a Manticore, [how?] he met Ashley, a cute Saytr who led him to Camp. [Satyrs are all male] Hades adopted him, but he has powers from Zeus and Hades. He's the outcast at camp, but Ashley likes him, and he likes her. (note fatal flaw). [what does the fatal flaw have to do with this?] They then went on a quest ANDDDD you'll have to read my story to find out what happens next. [This is the part that I doubt because none of TDP's stories have a lead named Perry Jackston]
[Look, whoever actually submitted, I have a feeling you're just doing this to spite the people of The Forum. (though strange. TDP is no longer listed on the Author's List but he's in Characters. oh well.)]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half blood
Weapon of choice: Huge black sword that glows blue when he's angry, Zeus gave him the sword when he was eight for his birthday.
[Why?]
Other weapons: His powers.
[See my note in the other reviews.]
Powers and Abilities: Perry Jackston can fly, control the dead, shadow travel and have darkness powers. He's also an amazing swordsman and can beat anyone. He doesn't have a birthday because when he arrived at camp Zeus felt bad and made him immortal, but he's not a God, just a demigod who can't die.
Comments:
Whoever submitted to almost all my pet peeves and dumped them into one character.
Final judgement: Tartarus
Basics
Name: Perry Jackston
[seriously?]
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Birthday: Doesn't have one
[so he poofed out of thin air at some ambiguous point in time.]
Ethnicity: White
[that's not an ethnicity]
Hair color: Black with red streaks
[please be dyed]
Eye color: Gold that turn red when he's mad
[No.]
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 120 pounds
[healthy ratio]
Other physical descriptions: Scars all over his back from his many fights at school. [did someone whip him?] He has a tattoo of a fin on his back, showing anger towards them. [what?]
Sexual orientation: Gay
[Homosexual]
Personality
Positive traits: Perry is very kind and nice to his friends, but if you get in his bad side, he'll destroy you. He's also smart and an awesome fighter.
[Terrible description. Too cliched. Not enough.]
Negative traits: He doesn't have any, Exoceot his anger.
[*Except]
[Furthermore, this is impossible.]
Other Personality traits: None
[So he's a flat character.]
Fears/Phobias: He's scared of his mom, because she abused him, mad at his dad.
[Why's he mad at his dad? Also, put this in the backstory.]
Fatal Flaw: Perry's love. He would do anything for people he love,
[This is Percy Jackson's fatal flaw but you didn't expound on it, cite examples etc.,]
Family and Background
Godly Parent: Zeus, adopted my Hades
[Why would Hades adopt a Zeus kid? No.]
Mortal Parent: Sarah Jackston
[A play on Sally Jackson. Nice try.]
Other relationships: He is a only child.
Henrey Ardwood always bullied him at school,
Hades adopted Perry, so he has powers from both of them.
[Nope. That's not how genetics and adoption work.]
Backstory: Perry Jackston was born and raised in Ohio. His mother always abusing him and he was always bullied. He became depressed and ran away.
[Do you understand the gravity of depression?]
After killing a Manticore, [how?] he met Ashley, a cute Saytr who led him to Camp. [Satyrs are all male] Hades adopted him, but he has powers from Zeus and Hades. He's the outcast at camp, but Ashley likes him, and he likes her. (note fatal flaw). [what does the fatal flaw have to do with this?] They then went on a quest ANDDDD you'll have to read my story to find out what happens next. [This is the part that I doubt because none of TDP's stories have a lead named Perry Jackston]
[Look, whoever actually submitted, I have a feeling you're just doing this to spite the people of The Forum. (though strange. TDP is no longer listed on the Author's List but he's in Characters. oh well.)]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half blood
Weapon of choice: Huge black sword that glows blue when he's angry, Zeus gave him the sword when he was eight for his birthday.
[Why?]
Other weapons: His powers.
[See my note in the other reviews.]
Powers and Abilities: Perry Jackston can fly, control the dead, shadow travel and have darkness powers. He's also an amazing swordsman and can beat anyone. He doesn't have a birthday because when he arrived at camp Zeus felt bad and made him immortal, but he's not a God, just a demigod who can't die.
Comments:
Whoever submitted to almost all my pet peeves and dumped them into one character.
Final judgement: Tartarus
I am SO sorry for your loss. I havent lost too many people in my life, but i have lost enough to know its a horrible thing to go through. Are you going to continue The Original Character Court without her?
5/15/16