The Original Character Court
Sophie Wise
Submitted by: Child_of_Minerva
Basics
Name: Sophie Wise(sorry the last name is so cliche, I couldn't think of anything else)
[No problem. Here's a source for you. Click this.]
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Birthday: August 29, 2000
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Hair color: Blonde
Eye color: Grey
Height: 5 feet even
Weight: 97 lbs
Other physical descriptions: Sophie has an average body type, but people usually think she's younger than she actually is because she's so small.
She also has a couple scars on her legs and arms, mostly from tree climbing and practicing fighting at camp
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Personality
Positive traits: Sophie is very inventive, and would rather use her wit than a dagger to defeat a monster. She spent some of her free time at camp researching facts she felt would be helpful in the future, or just basically reading about random Greek mythology.
[nice and interesting. But dagger? Really? Annabeth 2.0 but not really?]
Negative traits: She has two sides to her personality, not exactly bipolar, but something more minor. When she's around people she's either uncomfortable and distant or stubborn and outspoken.
[that makes sense. I'm like that sometimes. It depends on the personalities of the people, really.]
Sophie also has a small case of social anxiety, but not so much it hinders her ability to be out in the world.
[Please search social anxiety. Thank you. Yes, it doesn't always hinder but the effect it has on the person is no small matter.]
Fears/Phobias: Arachnophobia, like most or all children of Athena. When she was younger her older brother taught her to be afraid of spiders.
[you don't need to be taught to be afraid of spiders. You could have stopped at the "children of Athena" bit. Because that explanation is enough. As implied in MoA, it's inherent for children of Athena.]
Fatal Flaw: She's too wary and hesitant. In a life or death situation where she's unsure, Sophie either completely freezes up or just is in a state of disbelief. The reason why she's like this is because she's always had the irrational fear of messing up and disappointing everyone, since she feels like she lives in her older brother's shadow.
[complements the social anxiety]
Family and Background
Godly Parent: Athena
Mortal Parent: Robert Wise(Sorry about the last name again.)
Other relationships:
Malcolm Wise: her full brother
Sophie grew up with Malcolm and has a close bond with him, since they experienced finding out about the gods together. But as she got older, he became overprotective and Sophie sometimes gets annoyed with him, like siblings do. She lives in his shadow, as he's the second in command of their cabin.
[Malcolm? As in Malcolm the other Athena-dude Malcolm? I guess I can accept this but there was no mention of Malcolm having a full sister.]
SPOILER
Denise Franklin: Friend???
Denise is another camper, a new one that Sophie only met because she solved the prophecy
[what prophecy?] and since both the prophecy and Denise involve a daughter of Melinoe, they were forced to go on a quest. [what?] Tension between the two are high, since they barely know each other and they seem to disagree on most things. Sophie thinks Denise is naive, but feels the need to get to know her better, as they're on a quest together.
Blake George: Friend
Sophie had known Blake ever since he came to camp, but they barely actually knew each other until she saw him with Denise and asked them both to go on a quest with her(that's not how it literally happened, but I think you'll know what I mean). He became a good friend of hers and always knows how to make her crack a smile.
Nico DiAngelo: Acquaintance
Sophie knew that everyone at camp who Nico was, but she had never expected to ever speak to him. The only reason Sophie actually talked to him was because she saw outside him one late night and asked him what he was doing. After that, Nico never really talked to her, but with distance, [what?] Sophie developed a small crush, but once she figured he barely knew her, she avoided him and her feelings were just a part of being a teen. Looking back, she's embarrassed she ever noticed him.
[okay bad wording on the last sentence. It puts Nico in a bad light. Omit that.]
Backstory: When Sophie was younger, her brother was nearly four years older than her. When he had turned twelve, she was only eight. On Malcolm's twelfth birthday, Sophie and Malcolm had been together when a cyclops attacked them. Their father took them both to Camp Half Blood and explained everything to the two of them. At camp, while Malcolm gained popularity and became a larger role at camp, Sophie was in his shadows, unnoticed. She did have the opportunity to learn more though.
During the battle of Manhattan, Sophie completely missed out. She was visiting her dad in New Jersey, and it wasn't like Malcolm would let her fight anyway.
When the Romans attacked, Sophie began to fight off the enemy with her dagger, but Malcolm quickly stopped her and made her help out in the infirmary with the Apollo cabin kids.
Sophie felt camp was a prison of some sort for her, and even though it seemed like haven sometimes, she felt unwanted. When a new prophecy was discovered, Sophie herself solved it. Finally she had the chance to prove she was just as good as her brother.
[A little iffy with the backstory. It's not bad but Malcolm and Sophie's relationship is a little unrealistic. He's too protective. Mortal kids, sure but demigods? If Malcolm keeps her sheltered, she won't survive in the demigod-world, imo.]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Camp Half Blood
Weapon of choice: Sophie has a simple Celestial Bronze dagger that she snagged from the weapons shed. It's practical and small, but Sophie prefers not to use it until it's an emergency. She carries it in a pouch she made herself(being crafty as a child of Athena).
Powers and Abilities: Logic. Knowledge. That's basically all she has.
Comments:
Personality feels lacking. I already mentioned my problem with the backstory. Relationships are a little eh. Not that bad but not that good either.
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
Basics
Name: Sophie Wise(sorry the last name is so cliche, I couldn't think of anything else)
[No problem. Here's a source for you. Click this.]
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Birthday: August 29, 2000
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Hair color: Blonde
Eye color: Grey
Height: 5 feet even
Weight: 97 lbs
Other physical descriptions: Sophie has an average body type, but people usually think she's younger than she actually is because she's so small.
She also has a couple scars on her legs and arms, mostly from tree climbing and practicing fighting at camp
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Personality
Positive traits: Sophie is very inventive, and would rather use her wit than a dagger to defeat a monster. She spent some of her free time at camp researching facts she felt would be helpful in the future, or just basically reading about random Greek mythology.
[nice and interesting. But dagger? Really? Annabeth 2.0 but not really?]
Negative traits: She has two sides to her personality, not exactly bipolar, but something more minor. When she's around people she's either uncomfortable and distant or stubborn and outspoken.
[that makes sense. I'm like that sometimes. It depends on the personalities of the people, really.]
Sophie also has a small case of social anxiety, but not so much it hinders her ability to be out in the world.
[Please search social anxiety. Thank you. Yes, it doesn't always hinder but the effect it has on the person is no small matter.]
Fears/Phobias: Arachnophobia, like most or all children of Athena. When she was younger her older brother taught her to be afraid of spiders.
[you don't need to be taught to be afraid of spiders. You could have stopped at the "children of Athena" bit. Because that explanation is enough. As implied in MoA, it's inherent for children of Athena.]
Fatal Flaw: She's too wary and hesitant. In a life or death situation where she's unsure, Sophie either completely freezes up or just is in a state of disbelief. The reason why she's like this is because she's always had the irrational fear of messing up and disappointing everyone, since she feels like she lives in her older brother's shadow.
[complements the social anxiety]
Family and Background
Godly Parent: Athena
Mortal Parent: Robert Wise(Sorry about the last name again.)
Other relationships:
Malcolm Wise: her full brother
Sophie grew up with Malcolm and has a close bond with him, since they experienced finding out about the gods together. But as she got older, he became overprotective and Sophie sometimes gets annoyed with him, like siblings do. She lives in his shadow, as he's the second in command of their cabin.
[Malcolm? As in Malcolm the other Athena-dude Malcolm? I guess I can accept this but there was no mention of Malcolm having a full sister.]
SPOILER
Denise Franklin: Friend???
Denise is another camper, a new one that Sophie only met because she solved the prophecy
[what prophecy?] and since both the prophecy and Denise involve a daughter of Melinoe, they were forced to go on a quest. [what?] Tension between the two are high, since they barely know each other and they seem to disagree on most things. Sophie thinks Denise is naive, but feels the need to get to know her better, as they're on a quest together.
Blake George: Friend
Sophie had known Blake ever since he came to camp, but they barely actually knew each other until she saw him with Denise and asked them both to go on a quest with her(that's not how it literally happened, but I think you'll know what I mean). He became a good friend of hers and always knows how to make her crack a smile.
Nico DiAngelo: Acquaintance
Sophie knew that everyone at camp who Nico was, but she had never expected to ever speak to him. The only reason Sophie actually talked to him was because she saw outside him one late night and asked him what he was doing. After that, Nico never really talked to her, but with distance, [what?] Sophie developed a small crush, but once she figured he barely knew her, she avoided him and her feelings were just a part of being a teen. Looking back, she's embarrassed she ever noticed him.
[okay bad wording on the last sentence. It puts Nico in a bad light. Omit that.]
Backstory: When Sophie was younger, her brother was nearly four years older than her. When he had turned twelve, she was only eight. On Malcolm's twelfth birthday, Sophie and Malcolm had been together when a cyclops attacked them. Their father took them both to Camp Half Blood and explained everything to the two of them. At camp, while Malcolm gained popularity and became a larger role at camp, Sophie was in his shadows, unnoticed. She did have the opportunity to learn more though.
During the battle of Manhattan, Sophie completely missed out. She was visiting her dad in New Jersey, and it wasn't like Malcolm would let her fight anyway.
When the Romans attacked, Sophie began to fight off the enemy with her dagger, but Malcolm quickly stopped her and made her help out in the infirmary with the Apollo cabin kids.
Sophie felt camp was a prison of some sort for her, and even though it seemed like haven sometimes, she felt unwanted. When a new prophecy was discovered, Sophie herself solved it. Finally she had the chance to prove she was just as good as her brother.
[A little iffy with the backstory. It's not bad but Malcolm and Sophie's relationship is a little unrealistic. He's too protective. Mortal kids, sure but demigods? If Malcolm keeps her sheltered, she won't survive in the demigod-world, imo.]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Camp Half Blood
Weapon of choice: Sophie has a simple Celestial Bronze dagger that she snagged from the weapons shed. It's practical and small, but Sophie prefers not to use it until it's an emergency. She carries it in a pouch she made herself(being crafty as a child of Athena).
Powers and Abilities: Logic. Knowledge. That's basically all she has.
Comments:
Personality feels lacking. I already mentioned my problem with the backstory. Relationships are a little eh. Not that bad but not that good either.
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
I am SO sorry for your loss. I havent lost too many people in my life, but i have lost enough to know its a horrible thing to go through. Are you going to continue The Original Character Court without her?
5/15/16