Reviews and Recommendations

Okay, BEFORE I START....When I review, I give you a certain number of points out of ten on subjects that I think are critical to the story. After I complete giving you points, I take them and average them out, and that's the rating that I give your story. If you fix what I point out, and I find it to be satisfactory to MY taste, I'll come back and edit the review and boot your points up so you have a better rating. Needless to say, I don't hold back from my opinions, so if I offend you, I apologize in advance. Just realize I am entitled to my own opinion, and if you aren't satisfied with what I have to say, I'm sorry.

Darkness

Considering that the note at the bottom of the first chapter mentioned that this was your first story, I think you did pretty well! I liked where the story itself is going so far.
So, POINTS!

Cover picture, Characters, and Summary – 8
Your cover picture is interesting, but it doesn’t exactly tell me anything about the story itself. Your summary was awesome and complete, and your characters could use a little more backstory.

Plot - 9
It is different from others that I’ve read. It’s not something that EVERYONE does, so keep going.

Chapter Length/Content - 8
The chapters were a little shorter than I’d like to see, but the content was steady and flowing.

Basic Editing Skills – 10I say this to everyone...BUT check your capitalization, punctuation, and spelling for little TINY errors!

Overall Grammatical Structure –8
Typos are in your text. Not very many, so no worries, but they do bug me a little bit. There are some punctuation errors as well as random commas and periods thrown around were they shouldn’t be.

Descriptive Elements - 9
I like that you don’t overuse “said” and that you use your words to paint a picture in the reader’s eyes.

My Comprehension – 10
Perfect.

Okay, so the rating for this story is...8.8!
J <3 Echo

Notes