Basics
Name: Avalon Stevenson
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Birthday: 9/12/00
Ethnicity: White
[Again, this can be any nationality in Eastern Europe until North America so please be specific.]
Hair color: brown/green streak
Eye color: hazel/green
Other physical descriptions: Her hair is just past her shoulders, a green streak hidden towards the back of her hair.
[Dye?]
Her nose turns up just slightly, dotted with small freckles. Her eyes are round, opened a little wide to show the ring of grey around the edge of her iris, flowing into green, then a bronze around her pupil.
[*frowns* Is this natural? Hold on, let me get my girlfriend.]
[She texted our Bio major friend, Xan, to ask if that's natural and she says that it's not. Green dotted with brown, yes. But what you just described is not. Yeah, I get that the godly world doesn't really make sense in science but the physical descriptions of the demigods are still quite natural. I know who you're going to bring up: Piper. The thing is, Piper's eye color could actually be a really, really light shade of blue, brown, or green. Those eye colors can give the illusion of having ever-changing eye colors. So yeah, please change the eye color of your OC.]
She normally has a slight smile, her lips pink and her bottom lip always fuller than her upper. Her cheekbones accent her face well, not too apparent but not unnoticable.
[*unnoticeable]
On the battlefield, her looks can make her intimidating, even with her short stature.
[She's 14, she'd probably still have some baby fat. Be a little more realistic with appearances. The way she acts, or walks could make her intimidating but her facial features might not.]
She has a small frame, her weight coming from muscle she built through training. Her body doesn't have curves,
[Given her age, that's to be expected]
but scars cover her hips and back. Her legs are long, also marked with scars.
Height: 5'1''
Weight: 100 lbs
[Health]
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
[Is everyone on this site either hetero or bi?]
Godly parent: Aphrodite
[Given her parentage, I'd think she was pan.]
Mortal parent: Marcus Stevenson

Personality
Positive traits: She can always lighten the mood, even when it needs a badly told joke. Avalon is great at calming down her friends and being the one to break news. She is a skilled fighter, unlike most of her cabin.
[Because being an Aphrodite's kid makes you suck at fighting. Okay, here's one of the things I didn't like about Riordan's writing. He put down the Aphrodite cabin so much. He made most of them ditzy, vain, or bitchy and the ones who can actually fight are not that "girly". Please help break that stereotype. If you don't think that a girl can love fashion and make-up and kick-ass at the same time, may I direct your eyes to Clover from Totally Spies (a.k.a. my childhood crush) and Buffy Summers. Furthermore, being a skilled fighter isn't a personality trait.]

Negative traits: She is not quick to trust, unless she doesn't have a choice in the matter.
[There's never a "no choice" when it comes to trusting someone. You can't be forced to trust a person no matter the circumstances. Your "no choice" is more like "Fine. We're at an impasse. You supposedly know your way around. I'll do what you say since you supposedly no more but I'm still wary of you."]

Her aura may come off as shy, considering she isn't one to seek out new friendships. She suffers from anxiety, but she is good at keeping the attacks to a minimum.
[Breathing exercises? How does she stop or control her panic attacks? In experiences with friends, panic attacks are very difficult to keep in check and given her age, it should be very difficult. It seems like you're making your OC act older than what's appropriate for her age. I understand that she's a demigod so she might mature faster but there are things that still follow age. Maybe you can try bumping her age up.]

Fears/Phobias: She is claustrophobic, and fears that she will never be good enough.
[Why]

Fatal Flaw: Holding grudges, if someone betrays her she will not stop until she's had her revenge.
[yikes]

Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-Blood
Weapon of choice: A dagger made of celestial bronze, double edged and about a foot and a half long. She trained with it once she chose it, quickly building up her skill.
[How long has she been training with it?]
Other weapons: A spear, better for reach. She picked it up after it was a gift from Ares, he recognized she was a good ally to have,
[Why? Dude, that's Ares. He wouldn't just be "oh you're a good ally". He's haughty, and arrogant. He won't acknowledge the skills of demigods so easily. You need to have a good reason.]
Powers and Abilities: She has charmspeak, even though she forgets about it a lot. She puts her power into her voice, charming her words to affect whoever she is talking to. This is used for getting what she wants.
[Again, I'd like to point out that charmspeak is super rare and only 2 people in the Aphrodite Cabin currently have it so for anyone else who wants to make a child of Aphrodite, I'd like you to keep that in mind. There are lots of other interesting powers Aphrodite kids can have. If you watch Lost Girl, the succubus Bo? Like that minus the whole getting energy from people by kissing and doing the nasty.]

Backstory: She grew up in a single family home in Arizona, went to public school and was a relatively happy kid. Her father and her never were rich nor poor;
[*her were neither]
the middle of the middle class. Avalon didn't know her best friend was a satyr, until she turned nine years old. A gorgon attacked her, and chased her to New York, killing her father in front of Avalon. Avalon was then at Camp, nine years old and scared to death.
[And Ares? How'd she impress Ares? And how is she with the rest of her Cabin? So much unanswered things.]

Comments:
So many things unanswered. The backstory was so thin. The Ares issue was never addressed. Weapon-wise (if you remove the Ares-fiasco) she's fine. Fix the eye color, I guess. Age is also an issue. But other wise, this OC was decent.

Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel

Notes