Submitted by: Article Artemis
Basics
Name: Kaya Sendcenich
[um... I can't find anything regarding that surname]
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Birthday: October 4th
Ethnicity: Cherokee and white
[white how generic. That can be any nationality from Europe to America depending on how technical you want to get.]
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Olive
Height: 4 1\2
[assuming this is in feet. Please put units.]
Weight: 90
[I have no idea what unit this is so I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's pounds]
Other physical descriptions: Kaya is small, athletic, and agile.
She usually has a Indian spike going round her arm. (not a real tattoo, just melted pastel)
[Um... Indian? But she's Cherokee? Unless you mean "Native American" or whatever. I'd rather that you not use Indian seeing as to how it can cause confusion.]
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Godly parent: Pan
[um... he faded? and was missing for years? Because he was in some cave-thing?]
Mortal parent: Marion Sendsenich
[who dis]
Other relationships:
She has a twin brother named Colin, who is just like her, only more rustic than wild.
[um... okay? How's their dynamic?]

Personality
Positive traits: Kaya is very free-spirited, her friendship is hard to get, but if you do, than she is a friend for life.
[Another over-used trope]
She is good with animals,
[not a personality trait]
and always tries to fill in all sides of a argument.
[meaning?]

Negative traits: Kaya tends to compare herself to others, usually for very stupid things.
She can be sarcastic at times and is known for being jealous sometimes, but she tries not to show it.
[Okay that's interesting]

Fears/Phobias: Trypophobic [EWWWWW] and Claustrophobic
[can you expound on both of those?]

Fatal Flaw: Holding Grudges,
Kaya can't stand being beaten by someone she knows well.
Once something happens, it takes her long to forgive the cause.
All her life, things had happened.
Her Mom was taken to court, etc, all unfair things.
[hmmmm...]

Combat-related questions
Camp: Halfblood. But they don't like being misfits,
[nobody does?]
Weapon of choice: Colin uses a sword, which he calls Katarack.
Kaya uses a bow, called Shadowbox (named after gandalf's horse)
[Am I judging one or two characters? And jfc. Gandalf's horse is named Shadowfax. LOTR fan, over here. My girlfriend's worse than me. And why's the sword called Katarack? WTF is Katarack?]
Other weapons: Forest animals, [do they grab the animals and use them to hit stuff?]
Powers and Abilities: They can communicate with animals on a higher level then normal,
They both are very agile in the woods, and share the personality traits of more animals than humans.
[the last part is just ??????]
Backstory: Her Mom, Marion, is a daughter of Aeoulus, [*Aeolus] and (at age 25) she traveled into the labyrinth, not fearing anything (her fatal flaw is self confidence) [not self-confidence but overconfidence]
She was attacked by a monster, and Pan found her passed out. [Wasn't he just sitting around? But okay. Suspension of disbelief]
He healed her, and the two fell in love.
They had a kid. [kids since there are two]
Turned out they were twins, Kaya and Colin.
Growing up, they got into a lot of trouble, always causing bears to wander into town, [how? what?] etc.
After to much conflict, a satyr came to take them to CHB, and that's where I left off.
*this isn't detailed, and the story is much too long and complex.
[then shorten it or whatever. I'm a philosophy minor. The stuff I have to read are probably either longer and/or more complex. I just need a background that gives me a clear picture of your character and her personality and whether she makes sense.]


Comments:
I don't have much details. Please expound more on stuff. There are a few redeeming traits like the negative personality traits. Physical description's pretty okay.

Final judgement: Fields of Punishment

Notes