The Original Character Court
Max Katherine Bailey
Basics
Name: Max Katherine Baily
Age: 14 years old
Gender: Female
Birthday: 4-4-01
Ethnicity: American
[that's nationality but I'll let that pass
Hair color: Red hair
Eye color: Bright green eyes
[shade? Based on observation, demigods would have the same eye color as their godly parent.]
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 145 pounds
[healthy but a little on the heavy side.]
Other physical descriptions: Plenty of scars from being a demigod. Very tall and skinny. She's tan from being outside a lot.
Sexual orientation: bi-sexual
[*bisexual]
Personality
Positive traits: Smart in chaotic situations, can usually figure out what do to and doesn't full out panic.
Kind to strangers, doesn't judge them and will accept mostly anything.
Hates lying and will only do it if it's necessary.
Negative traits: A bit proud when it comes to following someone else and thinks her plans will usually work.
Sometimes will crack under extreme pressure.
Other Personality Traits: Max is a wild and fear-free person and loves adventure.
Fears/Phobias: Acrophobia- fear of heights. Ever since a scary dream where she was freefalling, she has a mental breakdown whenever she's up high.
[scary dream and she already has a mental breakdown? Side note: Have you researched enough on what happens in a mental breakdown? Because that's pretty extreme.]
Fatal Flaw: Self-reliance: Max thinks she can do anything, which is good for encouragement but when your faced with an impossible mission, she is there.
[I don't see how it becomes a flaw in the latter part.]
[personality in general feels a bit lacking. Advice, if you want to see how detailed I usually want personalities, check the characters who were put under Isles of the Blessed like John Vito Talbot, and Selene Lia A. Rivera]
Family and Background
Godly Parent: Hephastus
[*Hephaestus]
Mortal Parent: Amber Bailey, an engineer who met Hephestus at a car engine shop.
[*Hephaestus. Car engine shop? That would be a mechanic not an engineer. And there are many different kinds of engineers. Check your professions]
Other relationships: Oscar Soul. A sturdy and strong African-American. He is sixteen years old and has the softest heart. He himself is a son of Hephastus and Max' s half-brother.
[how do they work?]
Skylar Williams. A rude and corrupted seventeen year old. She is a Roman and daughter of Mars. She doesn't know which path to chose, blindly led by Octavian.
[if she's Roman and Max is Greek, how'd they meet?]
Backstory:
Max Baily grew up with her mom, alone without any other siblings. She was a troublemaker at school and usually got C's or D's. In eighth grade a Saytr brought her to Camp after a Fury had almost killed her. At Camp she met Oscar and fit in among the others.
[I don't think anybody fits in immediately. Backstory is lacking.]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-blood
Weapon of choice: Sturdy bronze sword Oscar made for her. It doesn't have any magical abilities and she keeps it sheathed.
Other weapons:
Powers and Abilities: Being a child of Hephastus she is extremely skilled at engineering materials required. And no, she doesn't have "fire powers".
[engineering materials required? Well, wording is iffy but I'll accept that. She's not too overpowered that's nice.]
Comments:
Backstory and personality are eh. Relationships were expounded on. I can't really get a grasp of her fatal flaw either.
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
Name: Max Katherine Baily
Age: 14 years old
Gender: Female
Birthday: 4-4-01
Ethnicity: American
[that's nationality but I'll let that pass
Hair color: Red hair
Eye color: Bright green eyes
[shade? Based on observation, demigods would have the same eye color as their godly parent.]
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 145 pounds
[healthy but a little on the heavy side.]
Other physical descriptions: Plenty of scars from being a demigod. Very tall and skinny. She's tan from being outside a lot.
Sexual orientation: bi-sexual
[*bisexual]
Personality
Positive traits: Smart in chaotic situations, can usually figure out what do to and doesn't full out panic.
Kind to strangers, doesn't judge them and will accept mostly anything.
Hates lying and will only do it if it's necessary.
Negative traits: A bit proud when it comes to following someone else and thinks her plans will usually work.
Sometimes will crack under extreme pressure.
Other Personality Traits: Max is a wild and fear-free person and loves adventure.
Fears/Phobias: Acrophobia- fear of heights. Ever since a scary dream where she was freefalling, she has a mental breakdown whenever she's up high.
[scary dream and she already has a mental breakdown? Side note: Have you researched enough on what happens in a mental breakdown? Because that's pretty extreme.]
Fatal Flaw: Self-reliance: Max thinks she can do anything, which is good for encouragement but when your faced with an impossible mission, she is there.
[I don't see how it becomes a flaw in the latter part.]
[personality in general feels a bit lacking. Advice, if you want to see how detailed I usually want personalities, check the characters who were put under Isles of the Blessed like John Vito Talbot, and Selene Lia A. Rivera]
Family and Background
Godly Parent: Hephastus
[*Hephaestus]
Mortal Parent: Amber Bailey, an engineer who met Hephestus at a car engine shop.
[*Hephaestus. Car engine shop? That would be a mechanic not an engineer. And there are many different kinds of engineers. Check your professions]
Other relationships: Oscar Soul. A sturdy and strong African-American. He is sixteen years old and has the softest heart. He himself is a son of Hephastus and Max' s half-brother.
[how do they work?]
Skylar Williams. A rude and corrupted seventeen year old. She is a Roman and daughter of Mars. She doesn't know which path to chose, blindly led by Octavian.
[if she's Roman and Max is Greek, how'd they meet?]
Backstory:
Max Baily grew up with her mom, alone without any other siblings. She was a troublemaker at school and usually got C's or D's. In eighth grade a Saytr brought her to Camp after a Fury had almost killed her. At Camp she met Oscar and fit in among the others.
[I don't think anybody fits in immediately. Backstory is lacking.]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-blood
Weapon of choice: Sturdy bronze sword Oscar made for her. It doesn't have any magical abilities and she keeps it sheathed.
Other weapons:
Powers and Abilities: Being a child of Hephastus she is extremely skilled at engineering materials required. And no, she doesn't have "fire powers".
[engineering materials required? Well, wording is iffy but I'll accept that. She's not too overpowered that's nice.]
Comments:
Backstory and personality are eh. Relationships were expounded on. I can't really get a grasp of her fatal flaw either.
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
I am SO sorry for your loss. I havent lost too many people in my life, but i have lost enough to know its a horrible thing to go through. Are you going to continue The Original Character Court without her?
5/15/16