The Original Character Court
Calista Anderson
Submitted by: Filia Sapientia
Basics
Name: Calista Anderson
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Birthday: 7th September
Ethnicity: American
Hair color: Auburn
Eye color: Ocean blue
Other physical descriptions: Callista is fit and lean. She's mainly muscle, due to all her years on the run as a rogue demigod. When she finds Camp Half-Blood, she discovers a mark on her right side in the shape of a crown. She has no idea how it got there, but she believes her "boss" gave it to her as a way of summoning her when needed.
[Makes sense. Her body build matches what she does]
Height: 5'0"
Weight: 100 lbs
[Healthy combination. Also damn. She's tiny.]
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Godly parent: Unknown
[Maybe she doesn't but you, as the author, would, am I right? Unless it's important that you keep the mortal parent unknown for the purposes of your story.]
Mortal parent: Unknown
[Same comment as godly parent]
Other relationships:
Personality
Positive traits:
She is physically strong and isn't afraid to do what's right even if she has to suffer the consequences (Ex. disobeying orders to protect someone she loves)
[Seems a bit lacking. Also, this is a very common trait in PJO OCs]
Negative traits:
She hates being told what to do and is often stubborn (i.e, refusing to talk to Chiron (he wanted to know more about her) when she first got to camp.), but she will follow orders if others' lives depend on her following those orders.
She is very closed off about her past and refuses to talk about it.
[Also, feels lacking and too common. Maybe you can add more in both positive and negative with a short explanation which could be expounded upon in the backstory. Just a suggestion.]
Fears/Phobias: She's afraid of Him (I have no other name to call him without giving away his identity). He terrorizes Callista in her dreams and when she's not asleep, he's always in her head, giving her orders and threatening her.
[I'd be terrified of that too.]
She's also afraid to fall in love because of what happened to her last boyfriend. He was hit by a car and to save him, she gave up something important to her to a mysterious person. Once he's saved, the person takes away his memories of her.
[Damn, love. That's rough.]
Fatal Flaw: Hubris/pride - Callista always strives to do her best and always hopes to please everyone.
[The description doesn't really sound like hubris. Hubris is pride in a sense that you think that you can do better than everyone, that things are better off if you're the one who does them because nobody is as capable as you are. Your description doesn't sound like a flaw (but I can see how it can be).]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-Blood
Weapon of choice: a simple silver and bronze headpiece that transforms into a two-foot Celestial bronze dagger, called Aemulator,
[Why? What does that mean?]
with the hilt lined with rubies. The blade is etched with Greek words. The weapon was a gift from her "boss". He gave it to her the night before she was found on Half-Blood Hill.
[Why'd he give her the weapon? And I think two feet's too long to be called a dagger. They'd reach 1 ft at most but not 2. That counts as a short sword.]
Other weapons: Not really a weapon, but she has cloak that, when she needs to meet Him, will distort her voice and cover up her hair and face so she can't be identified.
[Where'd she get it?]
Powers and Abilities: No known powers.
But she can be stealthy and quiet when she needs to be and is very flexible.
[Matches her body type.]
Backstory:
Callista's been on the run most of her life. She never stays in one place for long periods of time.
[Why?]
Before she was found on Camp Half-Blood hill she had a boyfriend and was somewhat happy.
[If she's constantly on the run, how'd she and this boy get together? How'd they meat?]
But one night her boyfriend is hit by a hit-and-run driver and fatally wounded. In order to save her boyfriend, she sighs away her freedom to a person who's been distantly following her for quite a while.
[Why?]
Once her boyfriend is healed, the person erases his memories. Callista now works for him.
[Doing what?]
Now, at Camp Half-Blood, it's Callista's job to find out all she can about the Greeks so He can get revenge on the gods.
Comments:
Your OC has a lot of potential. There are just so many missing details and I can't get a good grasp of her personality. Right now, she's very flat. Just add more to the ones I commented on and Callista would be fine.
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
Basics
Name: Calista Anderson
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Birthday: 7th September
Ethnicity: American
Hair color: Auburn
Eye color: Ocean blue
Other physical descriptions: Callista is fit and lean. She's mainly muscle, due to all her years on the run as a rogue demigod. When she finds Camp Half-Blood, she discovers a mark on her right side in the shape of a crown. She has no idea how it got there, but she believes her "boss" gave it to her as a way of summoning her when needed.
[Makes sense. Her body build matches what she does]
Height: 5'0"
Weight: 100 lbs
[Healthy combination. Also damn. She's tiny.]
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Godly parent: Unknown
[Maybe she doesn't but you, as the author, would, am I right? Unless it's important that you keep the mortal parent unknown for the purposes of your story.]
Mortal parent: Unknown
[Same comment as godly parent]
Other relationships:
- Piper McLean - Piper was the one who found Callista on Half-Blood Hill. Her and Callista soon form a sisterly bond.
- [But why and how did they form the bond?]
- Percy Jackson - best friend
- [How?]
- Annabeth Chase - best friend
- Aedan Forester - best friend
- [Who?]
Personality
Positive traits:
She is physically strong and isn't afraid to do what's right even if she has to suffer the consequences (Ex. disobeying orders to protect someone she loves)
[Seems a bit lacking. Also, this is a very common trait in PJO OCs]
Negative traits:
She hates being told what to do and is often stubborn (i.e, refusing to talk to Chiron (he wanted to know more about her) when she first got to camp.), but she will follow orders if others' lives depend on her following those orders.
She is very closed off about her past and refuses to talk about it.
[Also, feels lacking and too common. Maybe you can add more in both positive and negative with a short explanation which could be expounded upon in the backstory. Just a suggestion.]
Fears/Phobias: She's afraid of Him (I have no other name to call him without giving away his identity). He terrorizes Callista in her dreams and when she's not asleep, he's always in her head, giving her orders and threatening her.
[I'd be terrified of that too.]
She's also afraid to fall in love because of what happened to her last boyfriend. He was hit by a car and to save him, she gave up something important to her to a mysterious person. Once he's saved, the person takes away his memories of her.
[Damn, love. That's rough.]
Fatal Flaw: Hubris/pride - Callista always strives to do her best and always hopes to please everyone.
[The description doesn't really sound like hubris. Hubris is pride in a sense that you think that you can do better than everyone, that things are better off if you're the one who does them because nobody is as capable as you are. Your description doesn't sound like a flaw (but I can see how it can be).]
Combat-related questions
Camp: Half-Blood
Weapon of choice: a simple silver and bronze headpiece that transforms into a two-foot Celestial bronze dagger, called Aemulator,
[Why? What does that mean?]
with the hilt lined with rubies. The blade is etched with Greek words. The weapon was a gift from her "boss". He gave it to her the night before she was found on Half-Blood Hill.
[Why'd he give her the weapon? And I think two feet's too long to be called a dagger. They'd reach 1 ft at most but not 2. That counts as a short sword.]
Other weapons: Not really a weapon, but she has cloak that, when she needs to meet Him, will distort her voice and cover up her hair and face so she can't be identified.
[Where'd she get it?]
Powers and Abilities: No known powers.
But she can be stealthy and quiet when she needs to be and is very flexible.
[Matches her body type.]
Backstory:
Callista's been on the run most of her life. She never stays in one place for long periods of time.
[Why?]
Before she was found on Camp Half-Blood hill she had a boyfriend and was somewhat happy.
[If she's constantly on the run, how'd she and this boy get together? How'd they meat?]
But one night her boyfriend is hit by a hit-and-run driver and fatally wounded. In order to save her boyfriend, she sighs away her freedom to a person who's been distantly following her for quite a while.
[Why?]
Once her boyfriend is healed, the person erases his memories. Callista now works for him.
[Doing what?]
Now, at Camp Half-Blood, it's Callista's job to find out all she can about the Greeks so He can get revenge on the gods.
Comments:
Your OC has a lot of potential. There are just so many missing details and I can't get a good grasp of her personality. Right now, she's very flat. Just add more to the ones I commented on and Callista would be fine.
Final judgement: Fields of Asphodel
I am SO sorry for your loss. I havent lost too many people in my life, but i have lost enough to know its a horrible thing to go through. Are you going to continue The Original Character Court without her?
5/15/16