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Mibba

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On the streets

Chapter 1

That morning i woke up to someone jumping on me and saying "Leo get up". It was that girl I met yesterday, Allie. Last night she told me that the last one out of bed would get whipped and last time I checked, getting whipped was not on my hobby list. I got out of bed and Allie took me to the breakfast lounge. That's where I made my big mistake. This big guy whose name was Phil walked up to Allie and said
"Hi, nice face, you know that's what I would say if you were pretty".
"Then I assume you will be telling me that soon" Allie snapped back.
"Listen up punk, you will never amount to anything in life".

I hated the way Phil was treating Allie, I got so angry my hand caught on fire, somehow I had fire powers. Usually I can control them but this time I couldn't. My hand on fire, I slammed the table and the table caught fire. Then the headmaster turned to me. "come on Leo" Allie said. She grabbed my hands and together we ran out the Orphanage's front door.

We spent the night out on the streets and since it was the fall, it was a little cold. Luckily we could make a pile of leaves to sleep on and passer by's gave us a few dollars so we could buy some food and two blankets.

After we started to settle down, Allie and I heard something coming. A few moments later a gigantic dog sprang out at us. We ran for our lives.

All of a sudden Allie found an dagger, but instead of a silver metal blade, it was coated in a type of bronze. Allie threw the blade, and it soared past my ear hitting the dog in the chest. Then the dog just turned into mist.

We slept against a brick wall with the rest of the supplies we had. I thought I would not be able to sleep, but soon enough i was dozing soundly.

Notes

Comments

@ivenomeansbywhichtodefend
Thank you for the critique and your right, after not seeing this for a while I realize that this is true. (Sorry I took so long to reply)

I really really like your story and the way it's going, but I am going to critique a little. You need to slow down a bit. You've got all these ideas jumbled into your head, and you're writing them so fast that a lot of the detail which makes it flow isn't getting in. But I really like the direction this is heading! I'm really excited to read more like bouncing in my seat kind of excited

Nice

Constrictor Constrictor
1/23/16

I love it please update

Kat1st Kat1st
11/28/15

This is good as!

Go_chase_a_Donut Go_chase_a_Donut
11/26/15